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Celeste Yarnall – actress

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Celeste Yarnall – 26 July 1944 to 7 October 2018 – was an American actress who started her career on television before moving to the big screen.

Celeste’s TV appearances included Bewitched (1966), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1966), the Star Trek episode ‘The Apple’ (1967) and Land of the Giants (1968).

She made a brief early movie appearance in the Jerry Lewis Jekyll and Hyde-themed comedy The Nutty Professor but horror aficionados will best remember her in Beast of Blood (1970) and as the distinctive Diane LeFanu in Stephanie Rothman’s hippie horror flick The Velvet Vampire (1971).

Celeste’s later genre cameo appearances were in urban vampire tale Midnight Kiss (1993) and Skinwalker: Curse of the Shaman (2005).

Image credits: Alan Mercer

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Hobgoblins 2 – USA, 2009

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‘Don’t say we didn’t warn you!’

Hobgoblins 2 is a 2009 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Rick Sloane (Blood Theatre). The movie stars Josh Mills, Sabrina Bolin, Jason Buuck, Jordana Berliner, Josh Green and Chanel Ryan.

A belated sequel to Sloane’s 1988, Hobgoblins, it was made to look identical to the original film, utilising 35mm film and composite effects, look-alike actors, some of the original costumes and the same puppets.

McCreedy has been locked in a psychiatric hospital after blowing up the film studio to destroy the Hobgoblins, which occurred at the end of the first film. Kevin and his friends are now in college, and their Professor introduces them to McCreedy, who warns them that it is still possible to be attacked by Hobgoblins.

Despite McCreedy’s warning, Kevin and his friends re-encounter the Hobgoblins and must fight against them and their own greatest fears, in order to save their lives…

Reviews:

“It’s a self-aware movie with bad jokes. At first, I thought maybe the director just had a misguided sense of humor and that things were going to at least be charmingly inept throughout. But then the bad jokes kept coming and I started to feel uncomfortable, then annoyed, then cranky.” I Got Here Late

“There’s no point in describing the plot here, as if you’ve seen the first one, you’ve pretty much seen this. Oh the hobgoblins pray on peoples’ fears instead of their fantasies and it’s set a bit later then the first, but otherwise it’s the same thing. Only somewhere worse because the movie’s self-aware how bad it is the time out.” Movieman Kev

Cast and characters:

  • Josh Mills … Kevin
  • Chanel Ryan … Fantazia
  • Sabrina Bolin … Amy
  • Jason Buuck … Nick
  • Josh Green … Kyle
  • Jordana Berliner … Daphne
  • Ashley Ausburn … Buffy
  • Joy Villa … Candy Striper

Running time:

92 minutes

Release:

Hobgoblins 2 was released on DVD by Shout! Factory on June 23, 2009. A DVD bonus feature, ‘Hobgoblins 2, What Were They Thinking?’, features the original cast of Hobgoblins critiquing the new actors who re-created their roles. Director Rick Sloane discusses how this film was originally planned to go into production two years after the original, and instead, twenty years later, it was shot using the same script.

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I Sell the Dead – USA, 2008

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I sell the dead

‘Never trust a corpse’

I Sell the Dead is a 2008 American comedy horror feature film about grave-robbing written, edited and directed by Irish-born Glenn McQuaid (V/H/S). The Glass Eye Pix movie stars Dominic Monaghan, Ron Perlman, Larry Fessenden and Angus Scrimm.

I sell the dead 2

Plot:

18th century justice has finally caught up with grave robbers Arthur Blake and Willie Grimes. With the spectre of the guillotine looming over him, young Blake confides in visiting clergyman Father Duffy, recounting fifteen years of adventure in the resurrection trade.

Blake’s tale leads from humble beginnings as a young boy stealing trinkets from corpses, to a partnership with seasoned ghoul Willie Grimes as they hunt creatures unwilling to accept their place in the ground…

I sell the dead 5

Reviews:

I Sell the Dead is not only one of the few horror comedies to really work, but also a fittingly tongue in cheek Hammer tribute. McQuaid shows himself to be a genuine genre talent, and it is rewarding indeed to see a director really put effort into recreating, rather than simply referencing some of the classics of old.” James Mudge, Beyond Hollywood.com

“The gothic horror film has become somewhat of a lost art, so it’s nice to see someone trying to resurrect it (so to speak). And while McQuaid pays homage to the classic movies with his shrouded moors and grave-robbers, the movie simply falls short.” Mike Long, DVD Sleuth

I sell the dead blu

Buy Blu-ray: Amazon.co.uk

“If I have one criticism of the film it’s that I wished the two, when tussling with the undead, had a few more action scenes, but I assume that budget limitations killed the chances of this happening. This tale of buddy body-snatching is warm and witty and deserves high praise…” Darren Amner, Eye for Film

“As it stands, this delightful bit of gallows humor has its high points. It also suffers from occasional stumbles. Still, in a genre that sees more misfires than masterworks, I Sell the Dead is an excellent minor example of the latter. While it could have possibly been better, fans know it could be a whole helluva lot worse.” Bill Gibron, Pop Matters

“As far as the horror elements of the story are concerned they are centered around some of the stronger comedic moments of the film and do provide the bigger laughs. And there were some great laugh loud moments […] But I Sell the Dead is not without strong horror scenes and a good amount of blood letting.” Andrew Mack, Screen Anarchy

I-Sell-the-Dead-DVD

Instant Video | DVD | Blu-ray from Amazon.com

“You’ve basically got it all here. There’s genuine scares and genuine laughs. The makeup work on the monsters is quite impressive and frightening, and there’s even some bits of zombie gore to enjoy. The script is smart and clever, and filled with intentional anachronisms that only serve to make the film more unique than it already is.” B-Sol, The Vault of Horror

“First-time director Glenn McQuaid is especially enthusiastic about the duo’s rivals (a Burton-esque family of rogues dubbed “The House of Murphy”), but the editing rushes through the best bits and trips up Arthur and Willie’s partnership. Supporting hobbit turned Lost axiom Monaghan is too reserved anyway, and even Fessenden holds back from hork-in-yer-top-hat unsavoriness.” Nicolas Rapold, The Village Voice

Cast and characters:

  • Dominic Monaghan … Arthur Blake
  • Larry Fessenden … Willy Grimes – Wendigo; Beneath; et al
  • Angus Scrimm … Dr. Quint – Phantasm franchise
  • Ron Perlman … Father Duffy – Season of the Witch; Pacific RimHellboy and Hellboy 2; Cronos
  • Brenda Cooney … Fanny Briers
  • John Speredakos … Cornelius Murphy
  • Daniel Manche … Young Arthur
  • Eileen Colgan … Maisey O’Connell
  • James Godwin … Old Man
  • Joel Marsh Garland … Ronnie
  • Aidan Redmond … Jack Flood
  • Alisdair Stewart … Bulger
  • Heather Bullock … Valentine Kelly
  • Chris Shaw … Executioner
  • Martin Pfefferkorn … Howling Man

Technical details:

85 minutes | 2.35:1

Filming locations:

Staten Island and East Village, New York

Related:

The Unsubtle Art of Body Snatching – article

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Infested – USA, 2002

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‘Invasion of the killer bugs’

Infested is a 2002 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Josh Olson (writer of animated Batman: Gotham Knight and David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence). The movie stars Zach Galligan, Lisa Ann Hadley, Daniel Jenkins and Amy Jo Johnson.

After the funeral of an old friend, a group of New York yuppies gather upstate for a weekend of emotional reflection. However, it all starts to go horribly wrong when they are attacked by an infestation of mutant flies…

Reviews:

” …a story about (magic?) flies, zombies, a thirty something reunion, eighties tunes and some of the most stupid situations ever in a horror flick. The overriding problem is that flies are not scary. There is nothing remotely scary about a fly. Even mass quantities of them don’t bring fear.” Dr. Gore’s Movie Reviews

“Gorehounds will find one or two worthwhile moments (an extended sequence involving a bathroom and someone’s horrifically injured leg is suitably goopy) amidst the tiresome antics, but if you’re enough of a horror freak to give this one a spin – odds are you’ll lose all patience with Infested long before the minute moments of interest pop onto the screen.” Scott Weinberg, e-FilmCritic

“This thing is a steaming pile filled with the worst CG bugs ever and lacks any originality. There’s one pretty lackluster gore effect involving a leg and a pair of nail clippers. You want all of the characters to die after the first five minutes of them being introduced.” One Man’s Garbage

“This entire thing is pretty silly and gets outright ridiculous in the finale; but it still manages to be a mildly amusing timewaster due to its unserious tone and some gooey gore effects (like a pleasing moment where one of the possessed friends gets a crowbar to the head) – just don’t expect much sense.” The Video Graveyard

“The acting, dialog, plot development, (most of the) special effects and anything that must be good to make a half-way professional film are for the most part missing or fifth-rate, and therein lies the joy of the film. Don’t watch Infested expecting quality, watch it for the piece of shit it is and you just might find that it is pretty enjoyable…” A Wasted Life

Buy DVD: Amazon.co.uk

Cast and characters:

  • Zach Galligan … Warren – American Bigfoot; The Chair; Hatchet III; Legion of the DeadWaxworkGremlins and Gremlins 2; et al
  • Lisa Ann Hadley … Ellen – Dead Above Ground; The Hunger TV series
  • Daniel Jenkins … Steven
  • Amy Jo Johnson … Jesse – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
  • Nahanni Johnstone … Mindy – Witchslayer Gretyl
  • Robert Duncan McNeill … Eric – Star Trek: Voyager TV series; Masters of the Universe
  • Jack Mulcahy … Bob
  • David Packer … Elliot
  • Camilla Overbye Roos … Robin
  • Tuc Watkins … Carl
  • Mark Margolis … Father Morning

Trivia:

Not to be confused with Ticks (1993), which was also released as Infested

More flies:

The Mummy (1999)

The Fly II (1989)

The Fly (1986)

Amityville 3-D (1983)

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Curse of the Fly (1965)

Return of the Fly (1959)

The Fly (1958)

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Kuntilanak aka The Chanting – Indonesia, 2006

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‘Her laugh will be the last thing you’ll ever hear.’

Kuntilanak is a 2006 Indonesian supernatural horror film directed by Rizal Mantovani (Tembang Lingsir; The Uninvited; Wewe; et al) from a screenplay co-written with Ve Handojo. The movie stars Julie Estelle, Evan Sanders and Ratu Felisha.

The English title is “The Chanting”, although this is not a direct translation as a kuntilanak or pontianak is a type of ghost in Indonesian (and wider Malay) folklore.

The film was followed by two sequels, Kuntilanak 2 and Kuntilanak 3, setting up a trilogy with Mantovani returning as director. In 2018, the director rebooted the franchise, making the protagonists a group of children. This latest incarnation is currently available on Netflix.

Plot:

Samantha “Sam” is an orphaned young woman who moves to an isolated boarding house in North Jakarta, trying to avoid the advances of her lecherous stepfather. The landlady of the house, Yanti, tells her that the second floor is locked up with no one allowed inside.

While listing other restrictions, including about a chair in front of a Javanese mirror in Sam’s room, Yanti chants durmo, a Javanese poem said to be able to summon Kuntilanak, a female ghost with half the body of a horse rumoured to be living in a weeping fig in front of the house….

Reviews:

“Many of the scenes with the kuntilanak were suspenseful, and there were plenty of frightening sequences to keep you happy (past the first 45 minutes, that is). The ending was a decent one, though not wholly unsurprising. Kuntilanak wasn’t an overly spectacular film, but it held up well given its deficits.” Beyond the Darkened Door

“The whole visual art of the movie adds to the spooky feeling and the haunted boardinghouse is nicely shot as well. The acting, while not stellar is above average […] The gore is low key and while not entirely original, Kuntilanak is one of the best Indonesian horror movie I’ve seen so far.” Daily Dose of Horror

Kuntilanak is a very creepy movie with quite a few jump out of your seat moments and a soundtrack ‘Lingsir Wengi’. Each and every appearance by the Kuntilanak managed to raise some hair on the back of my skin.” Zainal A, Letterboxd

Cast and characters:

  • Julie Estelle as Samantha – Macabre
  • Evan Sanders as Agung
  • Ratu Felisha as Dinda
  • Alice Iskak as Raden Ayu Sri Sukmarahimi Mangkoedjiwo
  • Lita Soewardi as Yanti
  • Ibnu Jamil as Iwank

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James Karen – actor

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James Karen – November 28, 1923 to October 23, 2018 – was an American character actor. He was best known by horror/fantasy fans, and probably by the wider public too, for his roles in Poltergeist (1982), The Return of the Living Dead (1985) and Invaders from Mars (1986). He died, aged ninety-four, having appeared in over two hundred TV and movies roles including a cameo appearance in 2018 comedy horror Cynthia.

Karen was born Jacob Karnofsky in Wilkes-Barre, in northeastern Pennsylvania, the son of Russian-born Jewish immigrants Mae (née Freed) and Joseph H. Karnofsky, a produce trader. As a young man, Karen was recruited into a production at the Little Theatre of Wilkes-Barre. He later attended the Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theatre in New York.

His big break came when he was asked to understudy Karl Malden in the original Broadway production of A Streetcar Named Desire. Beyond theatrical roles, Karen went on to play numerous characters on popular TV shows such as Starsky and Hutch, The Bionic Woman and The Rockford Files. He once remarked: “People don’t know my name, but they know my face because I’ve done so damn much work.”

 

His first notable film role, billed as Jim Karen, was in 1965 in the low-budget Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster playing Dr. Adam Steele. Often cited as one of the worst movies of all-time, Robert Gaffney’s sci-fi pic is undeniably great fun for fans of trash cinema.

As previously mentioned, one of Karen’s best-known roles were in the low-budget horror comedy The Return of the Living Dead, in which he starred as the manager of a medical warehouse who inadvertently releases a military gas that re-animates the dead. Karen and Thom Matthews proved so popular with audiences, they both returned for the sequel in 1987, playing different roles because their characters were both killed in the first movie.

In the original 1982 Poltergeist he played Mr. Teague the greedy real-estate developer who built the Californian community of Cuesta Verde on the site of a former cemetery.

In a 2006 interview about The Return of the Living Dead (1985), Karen said that he helped write most scenes of his character: “It was the deal where he figures out he’s becoming a zombie and decides to incinerate himself in the crematorium…He kisses his wedding ring as he goes in. It was a very emotional scene, but it also got me out of being one of the rain-drenched zombies milling around outside the place at the end of the film. I didn’t really want to do all that muddy stuff”

Selected filmography:

Cynthia (2018)

Bender (2016)

America’s Most Haunted (2013)

Dark and Stormy Night (2009)

Trail of the Screaming Forehead (2007)

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Piranha (1995)

Congo (1995)

Future Shock (1994)

The Unborn (1991)

The Willies (1990)

Girlfriend from Hell (1989)

Return of the Living Dead Part II (1987)

Invaders from Mars (1986)

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Jagged Edge (1985)

Time Walker (1982)

Poltergeist (1982)

The China Syndrome (1979)

Capricorn One (1977)

The Bionic Woman (TV series, 1976)

The Invisible Man (TV series, 1975)

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965)

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Zombie Cheerleading Camp – USA, 2007

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Zombie Cheerleading Camp is a 2007 American comedy horror feature film written, produced, edited and directed by Jon Fabris. The JAF Productions movie stars Jamie Anne Brown, Chris White and Nicole Lewis.

Plot:

When teenage boys stumble upon a nearby cheerleading camp, they think their wildest dreams have come true. What could be better than a group of beautiful girls who are bored, stuck in the woods, and ready to party? But something mysterious is changing the cheerleaders, one by one…

Reviews:

“This is the debut directorial from writer / director Jon Fabris who seems to have gotten a lot of his talent and shots from the small town of Raleigh, North Carolina… most of the actors are first timers or come from small resume backgrounds… however the film as a whole works for what it is. Part horror / part comedy Zombie Cheerleader Camp is a fun independent release.” Horror News

“When the highlight of your movie is a ridiculous two-minute fist-fight between a man and a non-animated, stuffed squirrel you may want to rethink your plans. Completionist genre fans with absolutely no other choices  might want to give this a try. Everybody else should steer clear.” More Brains

“I was shocked at how well directed the film proved to be and I’ve noticed this trend in the last few indie horrors I’ve reviewed. Whatever these movies lack in polish and scriptwriting, they make up for in using what they have on hand to entertain. The comedy is acceptable with a few laugh out loud scenes…” Brett H, Oh, the Horror!

Cast and characters:

  • Jamie Anne Brown … Ashley
  • Chris White … Cotton
  • Nicole Lewis … Britney
  • Jason Greene … Randy
  • Brandy Blackmon … Nikki
  • Daniel Check … Mikey
  • Terry Chandeline Nicole Westfall  … Coach Sullivan
  • Micah Shane Ballinger … Tyler
  • Jaqueline Martini … Mindy
  • Elyse Rodriguez … Bailey
  • Abby MacDonald [as Abby McFadyen] … Kitty
  • Katie Pate … Kelly
  • Pudge Phillips … Ed
  • Brittany Forbes … Charlotte
  • Lindsey Kruichak … Rebel Cheerleader

Trivia:

The original title was Zombie Cheerleader Camp

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Demon Slayer – USA, 2004

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‘Some places are born evil. Five troubled teens are destined to fight it.’

Demon Slayer is a 2004 American supernatural horror feature film directed by James Cotten from a screenplay by Tristan Thai, based on a story by Michael B. Druxman. The movie stars Michelle Acuna, Howard Williams Jr. and Adam Huss.

Plot:

Five delinquent teenagers are assigned the task of converting a long-abandoned mental hospital in South Central Los Angeles into a community center. Little do they know that the hospital is the site of centuries of supernatural mayhem and murder. Plagued by terrors beyond belief, the teenagers must fight to survive a battle where the division between the living and the dead is shattered.

Reviews:

“Perhaps Cotton was hoping to milk some humor from the hackneyed plot and action, but with the possible exception of the scene in which the exorcist priest tries to dispel demons by calling on “the name of God and Frida Kahlo and [etc]”, Demon Slayer instigates less smiles or laughter than it does derisive raspberries. ” A Wasted Life

Demon Slayer might’ve been interesting if any demons actually showed up in the first hour or so, especially considering the film clocks in at less than 80 minutes. Instead, we get a bunch of bickering and people just “seeing things” for a mind-numbing stretch of time. To its credit, the movie tries to spice things up with some humor…” Black Horror Movies

“There is a little bit of demon action at the end but not nearly enough. “Demon Slayer” relies on the actors to bring the drama. Bad call. They weren’t bad actors but Lord they weren’t good. There should have been more demons and less drama.” Dr. Gore’s Movie Reviews

“The sad part is it had potential…..it’s not original, but what is? It just didn’t follow up on its premise at all and hell, no one watches a movie named Demon Slayer without wanting to see cheap scares, bloody deaths and well, demons. You won’t get that here.” Have a Cold One!

Choice dialogue:

Mr. Cobb: “I don’t need no pansies rollin’ around in god damned man love.”

Tamara: “That’s a problem I have with organised religion. God ain’t like that.”

Cast and characters:

  • Michelle Acuna … Alicia / Elodia
  • Howard Williams Jr. … Tyson
  • Adam Huss … Phillip
  • Hanna Lee … Claudia
  • Monique Deville … Tamara
  • Robert Eaton … Father Patricio
  • Joaquín Garrido … Father Enrique
  • Layon Gray … Mr. Cobb
  • Deitre Courchesne … Judge Vickers
  • Gretchen Kammerer … 19th Century Brothel Girl
  • Colleen Butler … 19th Century Brother Girl
  • Erica Cordova … 19th Century Brothel Girl
  • Heidi Abures … 19th Century Brothel Girl
  • Sarah Trost … 19th Century Brothel Girl
  • Lucy Howng … 19th Century Brothel Girl

Trivia:

The German title is Evil Scream

The original title was Day of the Dead

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What Really Frightens You – USA, 2008

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‘Never tell a soul’

What Really Frightens You is a 2008 American horror feature film co-produced, written and directed by Richard W. Haines (Alien Space Avenger; Class of Nuke ‘Em High; Splatter University). The movie stars Jennifer Sorika Wolf, Postell Pringle, Ian Tomaschik and Patrick Flynne.

Plot:

The “Ghost Writer” (Ian Tomaschik) pitches an article to Ghastly Horror magazine editor Marshall McFarland (Patrick Flynne) about “What Really Frightens You?” in which he will proposes to ask New Yorkers about their deepest fears…

Reviews:

” …the film does get a few things right. The general atmosphere evoked in the film by Haines and cinematographer Tom Agnello is stand out. When the films middling plot and lack of action was losing me Agnello’s dream like candy colored high contrast photography kept me interested.” Rob Sibley, Cinema Head Cheese

“Although Haines claimed to have used latex monsters because he could not afford CGI, the practical monsters are a welcome throwback (even if they are not particularly scary) […] Tomaschik’s performance as the creepy “ghost writer” is rather one-note, the good cast is mainly hampered by cliched dialogue and a script that seems to give up on tying the three haunted characters together…” Eric Cotenas, DVD Beaver

What Really Frightens You? feels like it should be far better than it is. Its effects work and principal acting are quite good for a low-budget film… yet its overloaded and unexplained story seriously hinders the final product.” Horrorfreak News

“The monster scenes looked very hokey. But, the scenes with the actors trying to solve this dilemma worked. This movie was fun, but it took about 20 minutes to get going, and the last ten minutes of the movie, were super hokey. So, at 76 mins, you have a decent middle. The gore and blood were lame, but the script and dialog were not that bad.” James DePaolo, Horrorphilia

” …a film that has a contemporary setting yet has a decidedly retro feeling to it complete with actual latex creatures rather than the all too often utilized CGI effects of this decade. For the most part, Haines nicely intertwines the present and the past into a horror flick that is intriguing to watch even when the acting itself occasionally betrays the suspense..” The Independent Critic

“It doesn’t help that all the characters are basically the same as each other, only ever doing three things: going to work, talking about who they’re dating or would like to date, and getting sushi (usually while on a date). Perhaps Haines is trying to make some philosophical point that life is all work, sex and raw fish, but his script seems so self-unaware that I doubt it.” Cliff, Letterboxd

” …a really enjoyable piece of retro schlock which succeeds in throwing a little Don Dohler, some Troma, and a dash of EC Comics goodness into a blender to result in an uneven horror movie…” Dave Wain, The Schlock Pit

Cast and characters:

  • Jennifer Sorika Wolf … Chloe Brooks
  • Postell Pringle … Drew Evans
  • Ian Tomaschik … Ghost Writer
  • Patrick Flynne … Marshall McFarland
  • Chris Davis … Brett Andrews [as Chris Keveney]
  • Lara Green … Michelle Jenkins
  • Jane Guyer … Allison Rogers
  • Chris Riquinha … Bob Quinn
  • Lodric D. Collins … Gang Leader
  • Stan J. Adams … Gang Member
  • James Edward Shippy … Gang Member
  • Mark Doherty … Randy Tucker
  • Isabella David … Sarah Greer
  • Jon Laskin … Conrad Miller
  • Brad Mielke … Dale

Image credits: Cinema Head Cheese DVD Beaver

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Snakehead Terror – USA, 2003

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Snakehead Terror is a 2003 science fiction  horror made-for-television feature film directed by Paul Ziller (The Sea Beast; Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon; Swarmed; Pledge Night; et al) from a screenplay by Anthony L. Greene (Gargoyle), based on a story by Patrick J. Vitale. The movie stars Bruce Boxleitner, Carol Alt, Chelan Simmons and Juliana Wimbles.

This is one of two Syfy Channel films based on the snakehead fish incident in a Crofton, Maryland pond , the other being Frankenfish.

snakehead 2

Plot:

A small town, desperate to recover from hard economic times, is under threat when the voracious snakehead fish mutate, surviving previous chemical attacks. The fish transform from pests to predators when human growth hormones are dumped into the local lake in the hopes of reviving the local fishing industry.

Thriving on the hormones, the snakehead fish grow to monstrous proportions, devouring everything within reach. Capable of moving and eating on land, they are forced to leave the now barren lake in a desperate search for food – animal, vegetable or human. In a race against time, the local Sheriff and biologist Lori Dale, try to save the Sheriff’s teenage daughter and her friends, along with the town itself, from being eaten alive…

Reviews:

‘Okay so the acting is going to win no awards (even at the world famous Sitges Festival) and neither is the directing, cinematography or any other film disciplines you could care to mention as that’s not the kind of film this is. What you do get is an enjoyable B-movie romp through the old eco-horror rulebook, with minimal CGI, plenty of latex monsters and a few high-octane set pieces’. Eat My Brains

shakehead

‘What’s nice though is that the snakeheads crawl around the woods and eat people. They even get a guy in his house. They’re usually cool rubber puppets – a welcome change from CGI, although there’s some of that too. Plenty of the puppets get shotgunned which is great fun’. Gorillanaut

” …ticks all of the necessary ‘monster on the loose’ boxes and runs like clockwork. But there’s something fresh about it and I believe it’s simply down to the snakeheads themselves. They are nasty pieces of work which are made all the more deadly through a series of gory moments. One of the Sci-Fi Channels better films.” Andrew Smith, Popcorn Pictures

“The only difference between this flick and the myriad of others you see on Sci-Fi is that the monsters in this one are amphibious so they can stalk their prey in the water and on land. That means that not only do we get plenty of Jaws style attack scenes, but also a Night of the Living Fish ending as well.” Mitch Lovell, The Video Vaccuum

Cast and credits:

  • Alistair Abell … Sammy
  • Doug Abrahams … Deputy Clark
  • Carol Alt … Lori Dale
  • Bruce Boxleitner … Patrick James – Legion of the Dead
  • Juliana Wimbles … Jagger
  • Brenda Campbell … Reporter
  • Gardiner Millar … Hunter 1
  • William B. Davis … Doc Jenkins
  • Bro Gilbert … Deputy Reece
  • P. Lynn Johnson … Norma
  • Gary Jones … Colin Jenkins
  • Chad Krowchuk … Craig
  • Matthew MacCaull … James
  • Don MacKay … Ray Wilkens
  • Ryan McDonell … Luke
  • Darren Moore … Zeke
  • Chelan Simmons … Amber James
  • Manoj Sood … Raj
  • Sylvesta Stuart … Hunter 2
  • Scott Swanson … Mayor Cole

Filming locations:

Cultus Lake, British Columbia

Release:

First shown in March 2004

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Raptor – USA, 2001

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‘Fear will never be extinct’

Raptor is a 2001 American science fiction horror feature film directed by Jim Wynorski [as Jay Andrews] and John Blush (Sharkzilla; Chupacabra; Kraken) from a screenplay by Frances Doel, Michael B. Druxman and Jim Wynorski. The Roger Corman produced movie stars Eric RobertsCorbin BernsenMelissa Brasselle and Tim Abell.

Plot:

When a series of unexplained vicious animal attacks strikes his community, Sheriff Jim Tanner and his assistant Barbara trace them back to a Dr. Hyde, a former military researcher whose government funding for a dinosaur cloning project was cut.

When the Pentagon discovers Hyde obtained foreign backing to continue his experiments, they send in a strike team to save Tanner and Barbara and stop Hyde…

Reviews:

“If this movie had been filmed using the actual props and costumes of the previous movies instead of horribly badly-integrated stock footage, it actually would have been a really good Carnosaur 4 or Carnosaur remake, as a lot of the actual plot itself was pretty good.” Jeffrey Long, The B-Movie Shelf

“The dialogue is ludicrously pathetic, the acting can barely be described as acting […], the editing is terrible, and the dinosaur effects consist of very rubbery costumes (at times, the velociraptors waddle about like toothy ducks). But every bit of the low budget, B-movie mediocrity spectacularly adds to the hilarity.” Mike Massie, Gone with the Twins

“Instead of watching a new cheap dinosaur flick, I was just bombarded with the ‘best’ bits of the Carnosaur films (using the term ‘best’ lightly) and then given some meaningless dialogue and meaningless new scenes to string them all together and pad out the running time.” Andrew Smith, Popcorn Pictures

Raptor comes off as a cheap “best of” (figuratively speaking) version of the Carnosaur trilogy. Those who haven’t may enjoy the new storyline, but may find the weird jumps in logic and clips hard to follow. If you’re looking for a silly little dinosaur flick and enjoy suffering through cheap (un)special effects, wooden acting and plot holes a brontosaurus could walk through, then Raptor is for you.” Review-O-Matic

Cast and characters:

  • Eric Roberts … Sheriff Jim Tanner – Sorority Slaughterhouse; Camp Dread; Sharktopus; et al
  • Corbin Bernsen … Dr. Hyde – Vipers; FangsThe Dentist; Tales from the Hood
  • Melissa Brasselle … Barbara Phillips – Camel Spiders; The Wasp Woman; Sorceress; et al
  • Tim Abell … Capt. Connellly
  • William Monroe … Capt. York
  • Harrison Paige … Deputy Ben Glover
  • Lorissa McComas … Lola Tanner
  • Frank Novack … Lyle Schell
  • Grant Cramer … Josh McCoy
  • Teresa DePriest … Karen
  • Eric James … Brady
  • James Cromwell … Benny
  • Alexandra Raines Lewinson … Devinger
  • GiGi Erneta … Henderson
  • Adam Gordon … Deputy Mike Baltin
  • Michael Cavanaugh … Col. Vandamar
  • Ted Monte … Tommy Leonetti
  • Robert Clotworthy … Doctor
  • Richard Gabai … Lewis
  • Tippy Lemond … Stadek
  • Lenny Juliano … Morgue clerk
  • Bruce Nozick … FBI agent
  • Rod McCary … General Mayhem
  • Brian Graham … Coroner
  • Ivan Kraljevic … SWAT Lieutenant Nash
  • Adam Lieberman … Deputy Balton
  • Tony Voci … Helicopter Pilot

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Graveyard Groove: The Haunted History of Monster Music from “Monster Mash” to Horror Punk – book

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Graveyard Groove: The Haunted History of Monster Music from “Monster Mash” to Horror Punk is a self-published book by David Acord (Success Secrets of Sherlock Holmes; When Mars Attacked: Orson Welles and the Radio Broadcast That Changed America Forever), released on August 26, 2018.

“In the mid-1950s, a new genre of novelty music emerged that mixed humour and horror. The result: Monster Music! Suddenly, jukeboxes were filled with songs about Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolf Man, creatures from outer space and a multitude of supernatural terrors.

The genre reached its peak in 1962 with Bobby “Boris” Pickett’s smash “Monster Mash,” but there are many more songs worthy of rediscovery — and Monster Music still lives on today, thanks to the influence of punk pioneers like The Cramps and the Misfits. Here is the complete, untold story of Monster Music — the genre that refused to die!”

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Slasher – Germany, 2007

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Slasher is a 2007 German horror feature film edited and directed by Frank W. Montag (Cannibal Diner) from a screenplay co-written with Jörn Döring. The movie stars Christiane Imdahl, Christian Stock and Sebastian Badenberg.

Plot:

Psychology student Erin has had enough with her studies. Frustrated, she and her friends Julie and Danny decide to spend a relaxing weekend in the woods, far from their everyday lives. Gathering up several more friends, the group heads into the forest – but their carefree weekend quickly goes downhill.

When an unexpected stranger arrives, their fun turns into a nightmarish race for survival as a psychotic slaughters them one by one. Alone, bloodied, and hunted – the group’s friendship is put to the test… and secrets from their black pasts bubble to the surface to unleash holy hell on everyone left alive.

Review;

Desperation marks Frank Montag’s German-made Slasher (2007). It desperately tries to have the energy of the typical American hack-n-slash movie from the ‘80s, yet Montag’s direction lacks the proper tempo; it desperately tries to make the viewer uneasy, yet the tension required for that is entirely lacking in Montag’s listless editing; it tries to appease the grittier gorehounds, yet Caroline Becher and Sandra Sauerwein deliver little more than perfunctory special effects; it desperately tries to be clever and tight, yet the script by Montag and Jörn Döring feels childishly naive and overstuffed.

The soundtrack music works as an homage to Harry Manfredini’s Friday the 13th (1980) score, yet fails here because it intrusively blasts through several scenes, and on numerous occasions, shifts strikingly from diegetic to non-diegetic sound, as if the filmmakers were attempting to broadcast what few technical skills they have.

Neither scary nor entertaining, Slasher is a typical example of non-Americans trying to make a sloppy American horror film replica without having the requisite domestic sordidness to back up the effort; few outside the U.S. can capture that kind of gratuitous stink without making the viewer feel as though the filmmakers are over-reaching and lost. And Montag’s Slasher feels just like that; it’s thin and lightweight, and smells more of Limburger than sliced American.

Ben Spurling, HORRORPEDIA

Other reviews:

Slasher feels like an amateur film made by a group of teenage friends with more enthusiasm for the genre than they have film school experience. Director Frank W. Montag’s handling of actors seems awkward, while the dialogue scenes are lacking in greater nuance. This is particularly the case when it comes to the backwoods family the group encounter who are so caricatured that they verge on parody.” Moria

“The surreal American 80’s vibe is highly entertaining, but the gore is where the shit is baby. I’m a huge fan of Ittenbach, Flipper, Bethman, and Schnaas – all German splatter mavericks. German splatter has dwindled away with the birth of CG (even my idol Olaf Ittenbach used some in K3), but Montag  goes back the roots of junk like Burning Moon and Violent Shit to bring us 100% practical effects (for the gore at least, there’s a few shots of some amazingly crappy CGI).” Sins of Cinema

“an unimaginatively titled, unimaginatively written, poorly directed, low-budget horror film from Germany that, in my opinion, didn’t even rise to the worst German splatter films. The cons are incredibly numerous here including days that run into nights in seconds, non-stop music, bad writing, color saturation issues and more.” Wildside Cinema

“At first this looks like it was intended to be a comedy, using slasher cliches to have fun with the slasher genre, but it’s really just using slasher cliches, and the title is more about a complete lack of inspiration and originality rather than anything cheeky. The killer is a poor-man’s ripoff of Gunnar from Texas Chainsaw, the teenagers are the usual horny boring stereotypes running in the woods…” The Worldwide Celluloid Massacre

Cast and characters:

  • Christiane Imdahl … Erin
  • Christian Stock … Danny
  • Sebastian Badenberg … Mike
  • Pia Sarpei … Julie (as Pia de Buhr)
  • Michael Eisenburger … Chris
  • Maja Makowski … Maya
  • Heiko Lange … Tom
  • Peter Herff … Farmer
  • Hannah Kobitzsch … Farmer’s Daughter
  • Meelah Adams … Lea
  • Patrick Battenberg … Alex
  • Rüdiger Schulte … Police Officer
  • Vivien Walter … Professor
  • Vanessa Radenberg … Victim
  • Patrick Dewayne … Victim

Release:

Slasher was shown at the Weekend of Fear Festival on April 27, 2007.

The film was released in the USA on DVD on May 4, 2010 by Unearthed Films.

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Dead End – France, 2003

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‘Read the signs.’

Dead End is a 2003 French horror feature film written and directed by Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa. The Sagittaire Films-Captain Movies production stars Ray WiseLin Shaye, Mick Cain, Alexandra Holden, Amber Smith and Billy Asher.

Plot:

When a family en route to a Christmas Eve gathering decides to takes a shortcut down a wooded road, an eerie sequence of events signals trouble ahead. After nearly colliding with an oncoming car, father Frank (Ray Wise) picks up a ghostly hitchhiker (Amber Smith) and her infant child.

With the sudden appearance of their new passengers, the route becomes dark and treacherous — and the family’s numbers rapidly begin to dwindle in a series of seemingly connected, grisly roadside accidents…

Reviews:

“Great setting, good tension, creepy atmosphere, funny at times, minimal gore, good acting, and a nice ending.” Almost Fabulous

“For a movie about people driving in circles, they sure do lead us in with them with no pay-off. There are sudden scares, ridiculous plot devices and really badly done scenes that all led up to the “shocking” finale that was just so utterly predictable.” Cinema Crazed

” …this plot heavy fright flick creates believable dialogue and likeable characters so that the interactions seem real, allowing for emotional value. The performances of the actors are pretty darn good. Ray Wise, who fought the Creeper in Jeepers Creepers 2, leads the cast in an entertaining and engaging fashion.” Digital Retribution

“If everything in Dead End is to be taken at face value, Wise and Shaye are off the wall in all the right ways, and this movie is worth adding to your holiday horror watch list for their performances alone. Were it not stretched out to a feature-length runtime, the seemingly endless circles this movie goes in would be a bit more tolerable.” Horror Honeys

“Budget constraints probably forced their hand more than they would have wanted but the lack of budget has helped the duo bring out the best of a bad situation. Well-shot, with plenty of tension and lots of lurking menace, Dead End gives off a spooky vibe as soon as the proverbial hits the fan when the family are grounded along the road.” Popcorn Pictures

“Ray Wise brings charisma and cynicism as the head of the family, while Lin Shaye is a perfect foil who happens upon a moment of total insanity in the film which is delivered with jaw-dropping perfection. Dead End is a movie that comes highly recommended.” The Schlock Pit

“Playing out like an episode of Twilight ZoneDead End has a lot of good things going for it as it gets strong performances from its cast (Shaye is especially good and in scenes where she’s gone completely nutty her performance slips into agreeable camp and demented humour), has plenty of wacko set pieces…” The Video Graveyard

Cast and characters:

  • Ray Wise … Frank Harrington
  • Lin Shaye … Laura Harrington
  • Mick Cain … Richard Harrington
  • Alexandra Holden … Marion Harrington
  • William Rosenfeld … Brad Miller (as Billy Asher)
  • Amber Smith … Lady in White
  • Karen S. Gregan … Doctor
  • Sharon Madden … Nurse
  • Steve Valentine … Man in Black
  • Jimmie F. Skaggs … Worker #1 (as Jimmy Skaggs)
  • Clement Blake … Worker #2

Technical credits:

85 minutes | 1.85:1

More French horror

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Steve Dash – actor

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Steve Dash – aka Steve Daskaiwisz – was an American actor and stunt person (March 14, 1944 – December 18, 2018). He is best known for playing Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981, wearing the sack) and Dr. Barkin in Alone in the Dark (1982).

“Monster Mania, the East Coast’s biggest horror con, is reporting that Steve Dash, who played Sack Jason in Friday the 13th: Part 2, passed away yesterday, December 18th 2018, due to complications stemming from a long battle with diabetes. Dash, who was a frequent guest at the popular con, was 74 years old at the time of his passing.”

Selected filmography:

  • Emerging Past (as Detective Voorhees, 2011)
  • Mr. Hush (as Mac, 2010)
  • Equalizer 2000 (stunts, 1987) 
  • Ghostbusters (stunt double for William Atherton – uncredited, 1984) 
  • Alone in the Dark (Dr. Barkin … as Steven Daskawisz, 1982)
  • Friday the 13th Part 2 (Jason Stunt Double … as Steve Daskawisz, 1981)
  • Ms. 45 aka Angel of Vengeance  (Policeman … as Steve Daskaiwisz, 1981)

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Two Front Teeth – USA, 2006

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‘Forget milk and cookies… this Christmas he wants blood!’

Two Front Teeth is a 2006 American horror feature film directed by Jamie Nash  (ParaAbnormal; co-writer of The Night WatchmenV/H/S/2 segment ‘A Ride in the Park’) and David Thomas Sckrabulis from a screenplay written by the former. The movie stars Johnny Francis Wolf, Megan Pearson and Michael Brecher.

Plot:

It’s the night before Christmas and Gabe Snow, a tabloid writer haunted by the Ghosts of Christmas past, is investigating a Yuletide conspiracy.

Gabe knows that Flight 1225 was brought down one foggy Christmas Eve, by a flying creature with a “glowing nose”. Now, a bloodsucking vampire – Santa Claus – has put Gabe on his list and unleashed the demonic fury of the North Pole.

An army of zombie elves, who have no interest in toys or pointy hats or dentistry, are about to turn Gabe’s white Christmas blood red. Will Gabe find the true meaning of Christmas? Can he stake a heart that’s two sizes too small? What will he find under his tree?

Reviews:

Two Front Teeth is certainly a silly feature, but it delivers some funny moments and didn’t bore me at any point. There are some good lines, though there is a lot of stuff that requires a good working knowledge of Xmas pop culture.” Digital Retribution

“The acting is in line with what you’d expect from a movie like this one.  I could have done without some of the computer FX; maybe because that took me away from the 80s feel of the movie, but other than that, I really did enjoy this one!” Film Apocalypse

“So the movie isn’t as gory as people claim and the faulty storyline maybe a bit of concern […] The only thing I think that came off as particularly bad were the CGI effects and some truly bad camera work. Regardless of that Two Front Teeth still manages to be a very entertaining and a fun watch…” Film Bizarro

Cast and characters:

  • Johnny Francis Wolf … Gabe Snow
  • Megan Pearson … Noel Snow
  • Michael Brecher … Ed (Chief Editor)
  • Joseph L. Johnson … Pete
  • Eric Messner … Mall Santa
  • Lisa Oberg … Frost (as Lisa N. Oberg)
  • Monalisa Arias … Evil Elf
  • Annika Backstrom … Evil Elf
  • Tara Chiusano … Evil Elf
  • Melissa Dunphy … Evil Elf
  • Jessica Perkins II … Evil Elf
  • Katie Lawson … Evil Elf
  • Alexxus Young … Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
  • Kelly Cardall … Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
  • Jamie Wozny … Silent Knight (Evil Nun)
  • Seth L. Herzog … Tiny Tim
  • Theo Franz … Young Gabe
  • Lily Franz … Gabe’s Sister
  • Josh Buchbinder … Clausferatu
  • Trent Gates … Gabe’s Father
  • Colin Barnhill … Santa Claus
  • Leanna Chamish Leanna Chamish … Gabe’s Mom, Mrs. Snow

 

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Spiders – USA, 2000

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‘Something very hungry’s about to hatch’

Spiders is a 2000 American science fiction horror feature film directed by Gary Jones (Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul BunyanBoogeyman 3Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove; Mosquito) from a screenplay written by Stephen David Brooks (Spiders 2The Mangler), Jace Anderson (Fertile Ground; Mother of Tears; Mortuary; et al) and Adam Gierasch (Autopsy; CrocodileNight of the Demons; et al) from a storyline by Boaz Davidson (Day of the Dead: Bloodline; OctopusX-Ray).

The Nu Image-Millennium Entertainment production stars Lana Parrilla, Josh Green, Oliver Macready and Nick Swarts.

A sequel, Spiders 2, was released the following year although the plot line is unconnected.

Plot:

A DNA experiment on a rare breed of spider is taking place on a NASA space shuttle, when a freak meteor shower engulfs the shuttle, causing everything to go horribly wrong.

One survivor is found on the ship and watched over in a secret location deep in the California desert. The problem continues, as the survivor isn’t alone, deadly spiders emerge from his body and go on a rampage around the ship. Curious reporter Marci Eyre must now warn everyone before the spider reaches outside the desert…

Review:

“Some of the spider effects are, frankly, embarrassing, as hapless actors struggle with largely inanimate puppets like a 1950s Tarzan wrestling a rubber alligator. But stick with the movie, because once the spider becomes large enough to render in CGI it’s absolutely awesome! The giant arachnid rampages through the town, crushing cars and knocking down lamp-posts – that’s what we want to see!” Cult films and the people who make them

“There are parts of the movie where the effects are serviceable yet there are other scenes where they’re completely hilarious. For example the webs are thin rope and if you look closely, you can see the knots holding them all together. All in all, while not a good movie in the traditional sense, it’s still strangely enjoyable…” Curiosity of a Social Misfit

“Created by KNB, the spider effects are mostly pretty cool, especially in the balls-out finale, where the eight-legged creature terrorizes a retirement home — excuse us, we mean college campus — in broad daylight. What’s not so hot is the by-the-numbers screenplay, which seems to have been assembled using every stock line from the horror genre.” Flick Attack

“An unabashed cheesefest from start to finish, director Jones knows exactly where he’s going with this material and thanks to some impressive and high-spirited creature/gore work from the boys at KNB, it’s impossible not to enjoy the B-movie vibe. The acting is forehead-slappingly over-the-top […] but the campy goodness only greases the wheels.” Horror 101 with Dr. AC

Spiders has clunky dialogue, bad acting, cheap (but not as bad as you’d expect) special effects and plot holes large enough to fit a mutant spider of Godzilla-like proportions. Yup, it’s a bad movie all right, but at least it is reasonably energetic and fast-paced […] Bring along a healthy sense of irony and “Spiders” can be quite fun…” Movie Gurus

“Just when you think the movie is over, with being yet another Alien-rip off (monster kills people in dark corridors), the story literary breaks free and we’re getting a big spider on the loose in full daylight, crashing cars and stomping on people. Just like the good old days. Gary Jones and his team had a blast when they made this film, it’s very clear! This is fun, fun, fun stuff.” Schmollywood Babylon

“Starts out faring better than most Nu Image product (and is enjoyably dopey) but soon crumbles under its weak script, poor effects and incredibly groan-able last third. Skippable stuff for sure though you have to ask yourself why people would take a college newspaper reporter so seriously.” The Video Graveyard

” …this is pretty fun stuff. The film does feel more like a mid-90s movie with the emphasis on practical FX over computer stuff (I’d say 90% is actual on-set FX). There is some CGI stuff at the end. While it is obvious, Jones still does a nice job of combining the computer images with stuff that was shot live (like the spider flipping over a car).” Video Junkie

Choice dialogue:

Marci Eyre: “That spider’s a killing machine. We’ve got to stop it.”

Cast and characters:

  • Lana Parrilla … Marci Eyre
  • Josh Green … John Murphy – Curse of the Puppet Master; Sweet Kill
  • Oliver Macready … Slick
  • Nick Swarts … Jake
  • Mark Phelan … Agent Gray – MonolithDoctor MordridServants of Twilight; Sea of Love; The Hidden
  • David Carpenter … Technician
  • Leslie Zemeckis … Emma (as Leslie Carter)
  • Mark Totty … Commander Hooper
  • Andrew Stoddard … Doctor Ellis
  • Jonathan Breck … Jacobs – Jeepers Creepers
  • Steven Sullivan … Max
  • Corey Klemow … Joe Martindale
  • Simona Williams … Loretta Martindale
  • H. Murphy … Phil
  • Billy Maddox … Colonel Dixon
  • Kate McIntyre … Receptionist
  • Nicole Tocantins … Moira
  • Timothy Di Pri … Flight Controller
  • Denise Lerette … News Anchor
  • Jullian Simmons … Levine
  • Stephen David Brooks … Lead Cop
  • Miss T … Bag Lady
  • David Ott … Phillips
  • Scott Alan Reiniger … Brice (as Scotty Reiniger)
  • Frank Murgia … Hooper as Elephant Man (as Franklin Murgia)
  • Mitchell Gordon … Man Behind Tree
  • Andrew Sugerman … Pilot
  • Glenn Smith … Pilot
  • Danielle Guthrie … College Student

Filming locations:

  • Camarillo and Los Angeles, California
  • Vasquez Rocks Natural Area Park, California

Image credits: Video Junkie

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Crocodile 2: Death Swamp – USA, 2002

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Crocodile 2: Death Swamp aka Crocodile 2: Death Roll is a 2002 American horror feature film directed by Gary Jones (Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul BunyanJolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove; SpidersMosquito) from a screenplay co-written by Jace Anderson (Fertile GroundMother of TearsMortuary; et al) and Adam Gierasch (AutopsyCrocodileNight of the Demons; et al), based on a story by Boaz Davidson (Day of the Dead: BloodlineOctopusX-Ray). The movie stars Heidi Lenhart, Chuck Walczak, Jon Sklaroff and Darryl Theirse.

The film is a obviously a loose sequel to Crocodile, directed by Tobe Hooper in 2000.

Plot:

A gang of bank robbers carrying stolen money and gold hijacks a plane to Acapulco during a thunderstorm. The plane crashes in a massive Mexican swamp, where the surviving passengers are terrorised by a giant crocodile…

Reviews:

Crocodile 2 suffers from terrible dramatics, spiced with terrible comedy and even worse attempts at characterisation. Logic is completely absent, like given the location the movie should feature giant caimans. There’s really, really bad ADR…” Digital Retribution

“Make no mistake: this is an awful movie, one carpeted with atrocious acting, shoddy special effects, derivative and formulaic plot devices and an overall air of…well, cheapness. But if a movie is so awful that it entertains for 90 minutes – that flick still deserves a half-hearted compliment.” eFilmCritic

“The gore and special makeup effects by Robert Hall aren’t terrible, though the appearance of the croc itself alternates between the stunning, practical prop of a 6-foot, fang-filled head – and discount, computer-generated imagery that is noticeably unrealistic.” Gone with the Twins

“The animatronic crocodile looks mean enough when it’s called upon for a few shots. It’s not used very often and the remainder of the croc’s screen time consists of some ropey CGI. Whilst this wouldn’t be much of a problem if the film was shot mainly during the day like the original, the film is shot mainly at night where you can’t see much of what is going on anyway.” Popcorn Pictures

“With an entertaining first third, an actually unexpected first attack and better effects than the original (they’re better in the dark as the pure daylight shot crocs look crappy) this showed a little bit of promise; but as with most of the films coming from Nu Image this soon gets too stupid for its own good and is pretty weak with an extremely sloppy finale.” The Video Graveyard

“Most of C2 is devoted to the asshole bank robbers being abusive to the plane crash survivors.  You know, I could take the annoying teenage characters from the first movie with a grain of salt but these bank robber characters reach a new level of annoying.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if the crocodile ate them in a timely manner.” The Video Vacuum

Choice dialogue:

Max: “Shut the fck up! Now, I’m tired of hearing about this motherfcking crocodile!”

Cast and characters:

  • Heidi Lenhart … Mia (as Heidi Noelle Lenhart) – Addams Family Reunion; Deadly SinsCreepy Crawlers animated TV series
  • Chuck Walczak … Zach
  • Jon Sklaroff … Sol
  • Darryl Theirse … Max
  • David Valcin … Justin
  • James Parks … Squid
  • Martin Kove … Roland
  • Steven Moreno … Brian (as Steve Moreno)
  • Billy Rieck … Pete
  • Anna Cranage … Julie
  • Dan Martin … Pilot
  • Sean Euro Sean Euro … Sean
  • Suzanne Thirumur … Reese
  • Teea Laitinen … Amanda
  • Lalith Sharma … Federale
  • Vinay Shanker Ponde … Bartender
  • Eddy Chamichian … Co-Pilot
  • Rachel Henry … Injured Passenger
  • Alison Learned Wolf … Counter Attendant (as Alison Learned)
  • Amera Pasha … News Reporter

Filming locations:

Ramoji Film City, Hyderabad, India

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Ritual aka Tales from the Crypt Presents: Ritual

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Ritual aka Tales from the Crypt Presents: Ritual and Voodoo Ritual – is a 2002 horror feature film directed by Avi Nesher (She, 1984) from a screenplay co-written with Rob Cohen, loosely based on I Walked With a Zombie (1943). The movie stars Tim Curry, Jennifer Grey and Craig Sheffer.

This is the third and final film spin-off from the HBO television series Tales from the Crypt, the first being Demon Knight and the second being Bordello of Blood. The film’s famous producers are Richard Donner, David Giler, Walter Hill, Ted Hartley and Robert Zemeckis.

Plot:

Dr. Alice Dodgson (Jennifer Grey) is a failed physician that travels to Jamaica to care for Wesley Claybourne (Daniel Lapaine), a young man apparently suffering from encephalitis. Because she had been fired due to her actions resulting in the death of a patient, Alice has few options left and decides that she is willing to serve as Wesley’s nurse.

While in Jamaica Alice begins to fall for Wesley and starts to suspect that she and Wesley are the targets of a voodoo cult…

Reviews:

” …offers a few jolts, Grey looking good (plastic surgery notwithstanding), a campy performance from co-star Tim Curry, and a decent score by Shirley Walker — incredibly making it the best of the three Crypt features.” The Aisle Seat

” …a boring and oftentimes silly film that tries to provoke cheap scares from the audience but only ends up irritating them. One of the movie’s favorite ploys is the “attack the heroine with various objects, things, and persons, only to have her realize it’s all just a bad nightmare” gimmick.” Beyond Hollywood

Ritual feels about as much like a Tales from the Crypt film as Def By Temptationfelt like a Troma film — that is, not at all. With barely a hint of the humor or the gore (aside from a grisly opening scene) that marked the excellent Demon Knight and the, er, Dennis Miller-y Bordello of Blood…Black Horror Movies

“Holy shit, does Grey sure scream a lot. But she has no Principal Rooney to kick in the face immediately thereafter, which makes a huge difference. That’s because a solid sense of humor is sorely missing; other than the slapped-on opening featuring the Cryptkeeper in dreadlocks, in no way does it ever feel like a Crypt film, much less a Crypt episode.” Flick Attack

“Screenwriters Rob Cohen (the xXx guy) and Avi Nesher (who also directs) take the old plot and tangle it in complications which only serve to take away from the core of the drama.  Grey and Wilson at least bring some heat to their roles – at one point, Grey has a voodoo nightmare in which she is attacked by her own curly hair – but Sheffer and Lapaine are just stiffs.” The Kim Newman Web Site

“There is some abysmal CGI effects that stand out. But on the whole the movie is solid. It’s just boring. There are too many things going on. Too many characters to keep track of. And it’s not a horror movie. It is a straight up mystery/noir.” UK Horror Scene

Cast and characters:

  • Jennifer Grey … Dr. Alice Dodgson
  • Craig Sheffer .. Paul Claybourne
  • Daniel Lapaine … Wesley Claybourne
  • Kristen Wilson … Caro Lamb
  • Gabriel Casseus … J.B.
  • Tim Curry … Matthew Hope
  • Ron Taylor … Superintendent Archbald
  • Erick Avari … Dr. Peter Winsford
  • Dorothy Cunningham … Violette
  • Kathy Owen … Dr. Shaba
  • Jessica Collins … Jackie
  • Stephen Tobolowsky … Dr. Javitz
  • Natasha Budhi … Dori
  • John Kassir … Voice of The Crypt Keeper

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Santa’s Slay – USA, 2005

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‘He’s making a list… pray you’re not on it!’

Santa’s Slay is a 2005 American dark comedy horror feature film written and directed by David Steiman. The movie stars former professional wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus.

Plot:

On Christmas Eve of 2005, the Mason family is enjoying Christmas dinner when Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) comes down the chimney and kills them all. This opening scene includes tiny cameo roles from several famous actors, including James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart.

santas-slay1

Riding on his sleigh driven by his “hell-deer”, Santa arrives at Hell Township and proceeds to kill the locals in various holiday-themed ways. In one of his slaughters, Santa kills the occupants of a local pole-dancing club frequented by Pastor Timmons (Dave Thomas), a crooked minister who manages to survive the massacre. Later, Santa murders the local deli owner Mr. Green (Saul Rubinek) using his own menorah.

Meanwhile, teenager Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) is living with his crazy grandfather (Robert Culp), a crackpot inventor who has created a bunker in their basement to survive Christmas. When Nicholas asks Grandpa why he hates Christmas, he is shown “The Book of Klaus”, which reveals the true origins of Santa Claus…

Reviews:

“Look, Santa’s Slay is no masterpiece by any measure (in fact, Steiman hasn’t written or directed anything since, unfortunately), but it’s enjoyable as hell if you can go with the bloody flow. If not, it’s coal down your windpipe!” Allusions of Grandeur

“The dialogue and shots are hilarious if you can get into that completely juvenile, Beavis and Butthead-style state of mind. I was especially laughing at one of the victims shouting “No! Santa, no!” for the sheer ludicrousness of her casually referring to this guy as Santa.” Cinema de Merde

“Any film that can kill both Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan within the first ten minutes is a keeper… it’s just the remaining 90 minutes that made me blow egg nog all over the place. Santa’s Slay is the writing and directing debut of David Steiman and it appears he hasn’t worked since. Good.” Cinema Head Cheese

“The script is simply awful. It fills itself with Christmas puns and referential humor that almost all falls flat. Various holiday paraphernalia ends up utilized as murder weapons, from wreaths to menorahs to candy canes. It’s like they went down a list of things associated with Christmas, came up with a way to kill someone with it, and put every single one into the film.” Classic-Horror

” …the conventional finale doesn’t negatively impact the film to such an extent that it’s not worth seeing; with its brisk pace and off-kilter sense of humor, Santa’s Slay is a worthy addition to the Christmas horror subgenre (and is surely an improvement over certain other killer Santa-themed flicks, i.e. Silent Night, Deadly Night). Reel Film

” …some clever moments, a fairly talented cast, effects that range from pretty good to terrible-in-a-funny-way, a lot of fun holiday music, and Fran Drescher being burned and drowned.” Something Awful

“Sure, Gremlins are cute and Jack Frost has more chance of popping up where one least expects him (like the shower!), but there’s something about the incomparable Santa’s Slay that captures the magic and fun and madness of Christmas, in a way that no other film of its ilk does. It’s probably not your first choice for holiday viewing, but it really should be.” UK Horror Scene

Santa’s Slay is the definition of dumb fun. It’s fast, entertaining, and all around not a bad film to revisit annually with a group of friends on a cool night with an Irish Coffee or five. While not all the jokes work and Goldberg’s future acting career seems less than promising, it’s best to just sit back and turn your brain into the off position.” Upcoming Horror Movies

Cast and characters:

  • Bill Goldberg … Santa
  • Douglas Smith … Nicolas Yuleson
  • Emilie de Ravin … Mary ‘Mac’ Mackenzie (as Emilie De Ravin)
  • Robert Culp … Grandpa
  • Dave Thomas … Pastor Timmons
  • Saul Rubinek … Mr. Green
  • Rebecca Gayheart … Gwen Mason
  • Chris Kattan … Jason Mason
  • Fran Drescher … Virginia Mason
  • Alicia Lorén … Beth Mason
  • Annie Sorell … Taylor Mason (as Annie M. Sorell)
  • Donna Zuk … Mrs. Talbot
  • Scott Francis Gibson … S.W.N.D.S.U. Place Kicker
  • Kevin Gillese … Disgruntled Youth
  • Don Bland … Bouncer (as Donald Bland)
  • Christian Fraser … Bartender

Filming locations:

Wetaskiwin and Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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