‘Evil gets an upgrade’

Jason X is a 2001 Canadian-American science fiction slasher film directed by Jim Isaac from a screenplay by actor/writer Todd Farmer (My Bloody Valentine, 2009). It is the tenth instalment in the Friday the 13th film series and stars Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees. Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg (Shivers; The Dead Zone; The Fly) has a cameo role.

The film took $16,951,798 worldwide at the box office against a budget of $11 million.

Plot teaser:

In 2008, (five years after Freddy vs. Jason) Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder) is captured by the United States government and held at the Crystal Lake Research Facility.

In 2010, a government scientist decides to place Jason in frozen stasis after several failed attempts to kill him. While Private Samuel Johnson (Jeff Geddis) places a blanket on Jason, Dr. Wimmer (David Cronenberg), Sergeant Marcus (Markus Parilo), and a few soldiers hope to further research Jason’s rapid cellular regeneration and try to take Jason. They pull off the blanket covering his body, but find Johnson dead, instead. Having broken free of his restraints, Jason kills the soldiers and Wimmer. Rowan (Lexa Doig) lures Jason into an “ice” pod and activates it. Jason then ruptures the pod with his machete and stabs Rowan in the abdomen, spilling ice fluid into the sealed room and freezing them both.

Over 445 years later, in 2455, Earth has become too polluted to support life and humans have moved to a new planet, Earth Two. Three students, Tsunaron (Chuck Campbell), Janessa (Melyssa Ade), and Azrael (Dov Tiefenbach), are on a field trip led by Professor Braithwaite Lowe (Jonathan Potts), who is accompanied by an Android robot, KM-14 (Lisa Ryder). They enter the Crystal Lake facility and find the still-frozen Jason and Rowan, whom they bring to their spaceship…

Reviews:

“Jason X is well-paced, provides plenty of kills, has enough camp to make it enjoyable, and provides an interesting transformation for our antagonist in its final third. It’s nowhere near scary, and it’s because of that fact that the Alien comparison can only be taken so far, but it’s a slasher movie set in space and it takes a character who has been the villain for eight previous movies in a place and time he hasn’t previously had to deal with. That’s a go-for-broke approach and I have to commend the filmmakers for it.”  Marter, The Escapist

” … there’s a legitimately fine comic sequence in which the surviving crew members, in an attempt to distract Jason, put him in a virtual-reality sim of Camp Crystal Lake. For a brief moment, new-school splatterpunk steps aside for old-school slash, and the sequence, prankish as it is (the sim comes complete with a couple of giggling, topless girls in sleeping bags), points up what’s fundamentally wrong with Jason X: It just isn’t the same when Jason stalks the sterile halls of a spaceship.” Rob Gonsalves, eFilmCritic.com

“Wittily scripted, smartly directed and well-played by an unfamiliar cast, this is a real treat for all those who have suffered through the story so far.” Kim Newman, Empire

“This sucks on so many levels. — dialogue from Jason X. Rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. Jason X sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought. Only its title works.” RogerEbert.com

“It’s crazy that it took until the tenth film in the series for someone to say “you know something, we should have a proper laugh with this”, but finally someone did and it’s all the better for it. As a serious horror film it’s a failure in every respect. It isn’t scary, it doesn’t build much tension and it just takes the piss at every opportunity. But it’s because of this third point that Jason X entertains – it knows it’s shit and it’s proud.” Chris Scullion, That Was a Bit Mental

“Jason X is one of those films that gets laughed at before it’s even mentioned. A good group of society just doesn’t like the flick. Truth be told I was kind of put off by it at first too. Uber-Jason? Come on now. But upon further viewings I’ve realized I actually have a blast with the flick! Maybe you should give it a go.” Jared Pacheco, Arrow in the Head

Choice dialogue:

Professor Lowe: “Guys, it’s okay! He just wanted his machete back!”

Cast:

Lexa Doig as Rowan LaFontaine
Lisa Ryder as Kay-Em 14
Chuck Campbell as Tsunaron
Jonathan Potts as Professor Brandon Lowe
Peter Mensah as Sergeant Brodski
Melyssa Ade as Janessa
Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees
Melody Johnson as Kinsa
Phillip Williams as Crutch
Derwin Jordan as Waylander
Dov Tiefenbach as Azrael
Amanda Brugel as Geko
Kristi Angus as Adrienne Thomas
Yani Gellman as Stoney
Todd Farmer as Dallas
David Cronenberg as Dr. Wimmer
Robert A. Silverman as Dieter Perez
Marcus Parilo as Sgt. Marcus

Wikipedia | IMDb

The Slender Man aka Slenderman is a fictional supernatural character that originated as an Internet meme created by Something Awful forums user Eric Knudsen (a.k.a. “Victor Surge”) in 2009. It is depicted as resembling a thin, unnaturally tall man with a blank and usually featureless face, wearing a black suit.

Stories of the Slender Man commonly feature him stalking, abducting or traumatizing people, particularly children. The Slender Man is not confined to a single narrative, but appears in many disparate works of fiction, mostly composed online. Fiction relating to the Slender Man encompasses many media, including literature, art and video series such as Marble Hornets.

Outside of online fiction, the Slender Man has had impact on popular culture, having been referenced in the video game Minecraft and generated video games of his own, such as Slender: The Eight Pages and Slender: The Arrival.

Beginning in 2014, a minor moral panic occurred over the Slender Man after readers of his fiction were connected to several violent acts, particularly a near-fatal stabbing in Waukesha, Wisconsin.

In an interview with the website Know Your Meme, Victor Surge (real name Eric Knudsen claimed that he was inspired to create the Slender Man by legends of the shadow people, the writings of H. P. Lovecraft, Zack Parsons, and Stephen King (particularly The Mist), and the surrealism of William S. Burroughs. His intention was, he claimed, “to formulate something whose motivations can barely be comprehended, and [which caused] unease and terror in a general population.” In an interview with the Slender Nation podcast, Knudsen cited the Tall Man from the film series Phantasm as an inspiration for the Slender Man.

Other pre-existing fictional or legendary creatures often thought to have inspired the Slender Man include the Gentlemen, black-suited, pale bald demons from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode “Hush“, Men in Black, many accounts of which grant them an uncanny appearance with an unnatural walk and “oriental” features, and The Question, a DC comics superhero with a blank face, whose secret identity is named Victor Sage; a name very close to Victor Surge.

The Slender Man soon went viral, spawning numerous works of fan art, cosplay and online fiction known as “creepypasta”: scary stories told in short snatches of easily copyable text that spread from site to site. Divorced from its original creator, the Slender Man became the subject of myriad stories by multiple authors within an overarching mythos.

Because the Slender Man’s fictional “mythology” has evolved without an official “canon” for reference, his appearance, motives, habits and abilities are not fixed, but change depending on the storyteller. He is most commonly described as very tall and thin with unnaturally long, tentacle-like arms (or merely tentacles), which he can extend to intimidate or capture prey. In most stories his face is white and featureless, but occasionally his face appears differently to anyone who sees it. He appears to be wearing a dark suit and tie. The Slender Man is often associated with the forest and/or abandoned locations and has the ability to teleport. Proximity to the Slender Man is often said to trigger a “Slender sickness”; a rapid onset of paranoia, nightmares and delusions accompanied by nosebleeds.

Early stories featured him targeting children or young adults. Some featured young adults driven insane or to act on his behalf, while others did not, and others claim that investigating the Slender Man will draw his attention. The web series Marble Hornets established the idea of proxies (humans who fall under the Slender Man’s influence) though initially they were simply violently insane, rather than puppets of the Slender Man. Marble Hornets also introduced the idea that the Slender Man could interfere with video and audio recordings, as well as the “Slender Man symbol”, which became a common trope of Slender fiction. Graphic violence and body horror are uncommon in the Slender Man mythos, with many narratives choosing to leave the fate of his victims obscure.

On May 31, 2014, two 12-year-old girls in Waukesha, Wisconsin allegedly held down and stabbed a 12-year-old classmate 19 times. When questioned later by authorities, they reportedly claimed that they wished to commit a murder as a first step to becoming proxies for the Slender Man, having read about it online. The victim was able to crawl from the woods, where she had been left, to reach a roadside. A passing cyclist intervened, and the victim survived the attack. The purported attackers were charged as adults and are each facing up to 65 years in prison. One of the girls reportedly said Slender Man watches her, can read minds, and could teleport. Experts testified in court she also said she conversed with Lord Voldemort and one of theTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. On August 1, 2014, she was found incompetent to stand trial and her prosecution was suspended until her condition improved. On December 19, 2014, the judge ruled that both girls were competent to stand trial. In August 2015, the presiding judge ruled that the girls would be tried as adults

Wikipedia

In Search of Lovecraft is a 2008 American supernatural horror film written and directed by David J. Hohl (Demon Plague).

The film stars Denise Amrikhas, Tytus Bergstrom, Jeff De Lucio-Brock, Larry Laverty, Rachael Robbins (Terror Firmer; Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash; Bikini Bloodbath Christmas).

Plot:

While shooting a Halloween news story on horror writer H.P. Lovecraft, reporter Rebecca Marsh discovers that the “fiction” Lovecraft wrote is actually true and the creatures and cults described in his writings really exist…

Review:

Although its not found footage or a mockumentary, David J. Hohl’s ultra-low budget movie presents us with supposed ‘real footage’ and despite a few flawed early attempts at pointless comedy, the performances are surprisingly acceptable and a creepy atmosphere is gradually developed. And there’s the rub: gradually.

Unfortunately, In Search of Lovecraft is way too self-indulgent and therefore overlong. What might have been reasonably agreeable at 77 minutes (where’s ruthless Roger Corman when you need him?) is dragged out to an interminable 98 minutes. It’s a shame as this is by no means the worst of these supernatural ‘reality’ scare productions. Alas, it’s difficult to recommend to anyone but hyper-patient Lovecraft devotees.

Adrian J Smith, Horrorpedia.com

“The essence of Lovecraft is captured even in its simple state. This is a nice representation of making what’s due with what is on hand and not having to expense a lot of extra frills. The frills may have heightened the presentation but I think as an audience we get the gist of the direction enough to take in what is being served up. Hohl has created a decent supernatural thriller that holds up just fine in its low budget nature.” HorrorNews.net

Filming locations:

San Francisco, California

IMDb

Trick ‘r Treat is a 2007 American-Canadian anthology comedy horror film written and directed by Michael Dougherty (Krampus) and produced by Bryan Singer (X-Men and sequels; The Taking of Deborah Logan).

The film focuses on four Halloween-related horror stories. One common element that ties the stories together is the presence of Sam, a mysterious child trick-‘r-treater wearing shabby orange pyjamas with a burlap sack over his head.

Despite its release being delayed and a very limited theatrical outing, the film received largely favourable reviews and has since garnered a strong cult following.

Main Cast:

Dylan Baker (Fido; Hide and Seek), Rochelle Aytes, Brian Cox (Manhunter; Kiss the Girls; Scooby-Doo and the Samurai Sword) Anna Paquin (Darkness; Scream 4), Quinn Lord (The Possession), Lauren Lee Smith (Pathology).

Plot:

Interwoven Halloween-themed stories occur on the same block, on the same night:

Opening: A couple finds what happens when they blow a jack o’ lantern out before midnight.

The Principal: A high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer.

Surprise Party: A college virgin might have met the right guy for her.

The School Bus Massacre Revisited: Five mean teens play a prank that they take too far, and a hermit is visited by a special trick ‘r treater.

Buy: Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com

Reviews:

“Trick ‘r Treat neatly apportions scary and campy elements while cleverly interlacing four storylines on Halloween night in an Ohio hamlet. It’s only fitting that, since the ’70s pics that inspired him were themselves inspired by ’50s EC Comics, Dougherty uses comic book graphics for intros and transitions. Wisely, however, he doesn’t overplay the gimmick.” Joe Leydon, Variety

“Things aren’t always what they seem in Trick ‘r Treat; often they’re much, much worse. But the scares feel organic to the stories, and the film manages to stay away from the realm of camp, though it certainly flirts with the concept at times. The abundance of stories to tell provides a momentum that remains steady without ever faltering. Every Halloween memory and tradition is touched upon here and twisted just a bit, from carving pumpkins to dressing up in costumes to the stories you used to hear about strangers with candy.” Cindy White, IGN

“There’s no surprise this film has waited two years for release. The only shock is how Brian Cox and Anna Paquin ended up in something so atrocious. In trying to span so many genres, the film fails to hit the mark with any of them. The real problem, though, is it just isn’t scary.” Nick Clark, The Independent

“Trick ‘r Treat is backed by beautiful art direction by Tony Wohlgemuth and photography from Glen MacPherson. The FX are also a true delight – I can’t single out any examples for fear of ruining some of the key revelations. This is an absolute killer of a directorial debut on Dougherty’s behalf. He’s made horror fun again without completely succumbing to campy kitsch. It can be mean and scary (Amen!) yet it doesn’t embrace the doom ‘n gloom mantra sung by many genre entries today.” Ryan Turek, Shock Till You Drop

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“Tone wise, it had clever yet grounded dialogue, a quirky sense of humor that rubbed me the right way, sported a bag-full of mucho suspenseful set pieces and even managed to be a tad sexy within one of its tales. The lump of ice cream on the pumpkin pie was the film’s knack at addressing our many Halloween customs and turning them on their severed heads for our viewing pleasure. Sweet!” The Arrow, Joblo.com

“It’s fun to watch, there’s incredible innovation, a magnificent cast, awesome effects, a nice soundtrack and a killer beginning and end.” Tara Romero, Blood Red Reviews

Cast and Characters:

• Dylan Baker as Steven Wilkins
• Rochelle Aytes as Maria
• Anna Paquin as Laurie
• Brian Cox as Mr. Kreeg
• Quinn Lord as Sam / Peeping Tommy
• Lauren Lee Smith as Danielle
• Tahmoh Penikett as Henry
• Moneca Delain as Janet
• Brett Kelly as Charlie
• Britt McKillip as Macy
• Isabelle Deluce as Sara
• Jean-Luc Bilodeau as Schrader
• Leslie Bibb as Emma
• Patrick Gilmore as Bud the Cameraman
• C. Ernst Harth as Giant Baby
• Christine Willes as Mrs. Henderson
• Samm Todd as Rhonda

Filming locations:

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Comic books:

Wildstorm Comics had planned to release a four-issue adaptation of Trick ‘r Treat written by Marc Andreyko and illustrated by Fiona Staples but the series was instead released as a graphic novel adaptation in October 2009. Legendary Comics has set Trick ‘r Treat: Days of the Dead for an October 2015 release date. Read more about horror film-to-comic adapatations

Buy: Amazon.com

Complex magazine interview with Michael Dougherty

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled is a 2002 American horror film directed by Chris Angel from a screenplay by John Benjamin Martin. It is the third and final sequel to the 1997 film, Wishmaster. It is also known as Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled. It was filmed back-to-back with Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell.

Plot:

An evil genie is released from his prison – an ancient jewel – and must grant three wishes to the person who awakens him, in order to release the race of Djinns from hell and allow them to take over the earth.

Painter Sam (Jason Thompson) and his girlfriend Lisa (Tara Spencer-Nairn) have just moved in together when he has a terrible accident that leaves him paraplegic. Determined to help him, Lisa retains a lawyer, Steven (Michael Trucco), who has a crush on her. Due to his condition, Sam grows ever more distant from Lisa, ruminating on his and Lisa’s inability to have sex and believing that she and Steven are having an affair.

Sensing Sam’s growing distance from Lisa, Steven moves in, awkwardly offering as a gift a jewel he found hidden away in an antique desk. The jewel, unknown to Steven, is the Djinn’s cell. Lisa inadvertently awakens the Djinn, which secretly kills Steven and takes his form. The Djinn/Steven begins making advances on Lisa to trick her into making wishes…

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Cast:

Michael Trucco, Tara Spencer-Nairn, Jason Thompson, Victor Webster, Kimberly Huie and John Novak.

Reviews:

“The Wishmaster himself looks risible. I’m sure I’ve seen his second cousin on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except that Buffy’s version looked less silly. However I really like the underlying concept, a cheerful mish-mash of Middle Eastern legend and Biblical myth. This thing calls itself a Djinn (a variant transliteration of “Genie”) and grants the traditional three wishes, but in return it wants your soul. It’s the Devil, basically, but in goofier make-up…” Horror Express

“Overlit, filled with gratuitous (and not especially attractive) nudity and thoroughly predictable, this fourth installment in the low-rent Wishmaster series appears designed to be the last. Would that it were so!” TV Guide

“This is indeed a horror version of a Lifetime movie. The Prophecy Fulfilled is packed to the gills with relationship drama, and now even the Djinn is trying to be romantic. Ignoring the demands of his kind to be unleashed, he sets out on an attempt to understand love so he can woo Lisa and legitimately win her heart.” The Movie Network

Buy: Amazon.com

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘The catch of the day… is you’

Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre is a 2009 Icelandic horror film directed by Júlíus Kemp from a screenplay by Sjón [Sigurjón Birgir Sigurðsson], a poet, novelist, lyricist and long-standing collaborator with singer Björk.

Icelandic-born Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre; The Demon Lover; Mosquito) has a cameo role as a ship captain.

Gunnar Hansen

The film is also known as Harpoon: Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre Harpoon: Whale Watching Massacre and RWWM.

Plot:

Reykjavik, Iceland: A group of international tourists who go on whale watching expedition. During the expedition the ship breaks down and they are picked up by a nearby whaler. Unfortunately, the fishbillies on the vessel are murderous inbreds…

Reviews:

Harpoon is well shot and directed with some impressively stark images (really love the image of the harpooned body hanging off the front of the ship) and even some very dark scenes remaining easily discernable … definitely worth checking out if you’re willing to lay back and go along with the unexpected callousness of some characters’ actions.” Gareth Jones, Dread Central

” … deeper-than-usual characterizations help make up for the film’s rather generic plot, which is basically just the usual survival stuff, albeit on a boat instead of a backwoods dungeon or isolated house. A few folks get it right away, some hide and run around, others escape only to find themselves “rescued” by someone who is in cahoots with the villains, etc.” Horror Movie a Day

“The look of the film contributed to the eeriness; in particular the ominous ship’s peeling paint, heavy metal doors and rusted sides. The look of the fishbillies, with their greasy hair and dirty clothes, really did evoke the “back country” feeling I think the film was aiming for.”Alana Odegard, Iceland Review

“The film looks great, providing some stark images and genuine moments of suspense; some of the performances are good, the rest are, if nothing else, inhibited by the simplicity of the script and the cartoon character-depth they are subjected to in the script.” Bloody Disgusting

Buy DVD: Amazon.co.uk

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb | Post dedicated to the late Gunnar Hansen

Skinwalkers is a 2006 Canadian horror-action film about werewolves directed by former effects technician James “Jim” Isaac (director of The Horror Show; Jason X and Pig Hunt) from a screenplay by James DeMonaco, Todd Harthan and James Roday.

Prolific Canadian co-producer Don Carmody began his career working on David Cronenberg movies such as Shivers and Rabid.

Cast:

Jason Behr (The Tattooist), Elias Koteas (Crash; Let Me In), Rhona Mitra (Underworld: Rise of the Lycans), Natassia Malthe (Lake Placid; Halloween: Resurrection; Bloodsuckers), Kim Coates (The Amityville Curse; Red Blooded American Girl; The Club), Sarah Carter (Final Destination 2) and Tom Jackson.

Plot:

Two packs of werewolves, divided by principles, are signalled by the moon of the coming of an ancient prophecy. A young boy named Timothy (Matthew Knight) approaches his 13th birthday, unaware this marks the time of his transformation. Timothy has been raised by his grandmother Nana (Barbara Gordon), his mother Rachel (Rhona Mitra), his uncle Jonas (Elias Koteas), his cousin Katherine (Sarah Carter) and Katherine’s boyfriend, Adam (Shawn Roberts).

Rachel and Timothy have been unaware that the rest of the family are “good” werewolves who have guarded Timothy and his secret since birth. They know that Timothy is a “half-blood” who is prophesied to end the curse. But they also know that Timothy’s power will put him in danger, for there are other werewolves that revel and embrace their blood-lust and are bent on finding and killing the boy…

Reviews:

” … briskly paced and features a couple of clever twists on genre conventions before getting bogged down in a lengthy fight sequence during which the lupine adversaries resolve their diametrically opposed ideologies by fang and claw. Surprisingly, the emphasis is more on conventional action than on man-to-wolf metamorphosis effects and the subsequent beastly mayhem.” Maitland McDonagh, TV Guide

“It’s obvious at times that Skinwalkers tries to emulate Kathryn Bigelow’s awesome vampire western Near Dark especially when the evil werewolves patronize a divey redneck bar to snack on would-be rapists but without kickass character actors like Bill Paxton and Lance Henriksen onboard, it ain’t the same.” Steve Newton, Ear of Newt

“Purely perfunctory, embarrassingly so, clearly designed solely to advance the plot, every word spoken is devoid of anything resembling personality or humanity. We’ve no empathy for the good guys, no reason to fear the villains, no reason to care even when it tries to introduce a surprise plot twist or two.” Jon Condit, Dread Central

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Trailer:

Wikipedi | IMDb

Treevenge is a 2008 short American dark comedy horror film written and directed by Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun, The ABCs of Death ‘Y is for Youngbuck’ segment and V/H/S/2 ‘Alien Abduction Slumber Party’) and produced by Yer Dead Productions. Riz Ortolani’s theme song to Cannibal Holocaust is played during the opening titles.

Cast:

Jonathan Torrens, Sarah E. Dunsworth, Lex Gigeroff, Molly Dunsworth, Glenn Matthews, and Kristin Slaney.

Plot:

Trevenge depicts Christmas from the perspective of sentient Christmas trees. After being hacked down and shipped to homes, they are subject to “humiliation” by humans, who decorated them and make them stand in their living rooms. The Christmas trees have had enough, and go on to massacre and kill an entire town as part of their uprising…

Film:

Wikipedia | IMDb | Official website

‘ … no introduction necessary’

American Psycho is a 2000 American-Canadian black comedy psychological thriller-horror film co-written and directed by Mary Harron (The Moth Diaries), based on Bret Easton Ellis’s 1991 novel of the same name.

Producer Edward R. Pressman (Sisters; Phantom of the Paradise; The Hand) purchased the film rights to the novel in 1992. Johnny Depp expressing an interest in the lead role. After discussions with Stuart Gordon and David Cronenberg fell through, Harron was brought on to direct and cast Christian Bale in the lead role.

Lionsgate acquired worldwide distribution in 1997 and temporarily replaced Harron and Bale with Oliver Stone as director and Leonardo DiCaprio portraying Patrick Bateman. DiCaprio left in favour of The Beach and Harron and Bale were brought back.

As Harron began production, the crew had to contend with threats of protest, as the issue of violence in the media became crystallised by the Columbine shootings. Campaigns against the film continued throughout production, the Feminist Majority Foundation condemning the film as “misogynist,” and the Canadians Concerned About Violence in Entertainment (C-CAVE) convincing restaurant owners to deny Harron permission to film in their establishments.

The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) gave the film an NC-17 rating for a sex scene featuring Bateman having a threesome with two prostitutes. The producers excised approximately 18 seconds of footage to obtain an R-rated version of the film.

American Psycho was released theatrically on April 14, 2000. The film received generally positive reviews and was a financial success, with critics mainly praising the screenplay and Christian Bale’s performance.

The film has now achieved cult status, any initial controversy surrounding it giving way to an appreciation of the film’s satirical qualities.

A direct-to-video sequel, American Psycho 2, directed by Morgan J. Freeman and starring Mila Kunis, was released in 2002.

Cast:

Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe (Shadow of the Vampire; Antichrist; Odd Thomas), Jared Leto, Josh Lucas, Chloë Sevigny, Samantha Mathis, Cara Seymour, Justin Theroux, and Reese Witherspoon.

Plot:

Patrick Bateman is a wealthy investment banker living in Manhattan in the late 1980s. His life revolves around dining at trendy restaurants while keeping up appearances for his fiancée, Evelyn, and for his circle of wealthy and shallow associates, most of whom he dislikes.

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Bateman and his associates flaunt their business cards in a display of vanity. Enraged by the superiority of coworker Paul Allen’s card, Bateman murders a homeless man and his dog.

At a Christmas party, Bateman makes plans to have dinner with Paul, with Paul mistaking Bateman for Marcus Halberstram. Bateman gets Paul drunk and lures him back to his apartment and murders him with an axe…

Reviews:

“As brilliantly as the movie’s visual style evokes a world spat out by a Vanity Fair art director, American Psycho remains a one-joke satire of materialism and soullessness.” Stephen Holden, The New York Times

“All of the murders are equally real or unreal, and that isn’t the point: The function of the murders is to make visible the frenzy of the territorial male when his will is frustrated. The movie gives shape and form to road rage, golf course rage, family abuse and some of the scarier behavior patterns of sports fans.” Roger Ebert, RogerEbert.com

” … after an hour of dissecting the ’80s culture of materialism, narcissism and greed, the movie begins to repeat itself. It becomes more grisly and surreal, but not more interesting. Conceptually, this savage cartoon ends up as trapped in surfaces as its shallow antihero: it’s all dressed up with nowhere to go.” David Ansen, Newsweek

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“Harron opens wittily by equating bodily fluids with nouvelle cuisine, although nothing that follows is nearly so Swiftian. She effectively burlesques Ellis’s affectless carnage amid a mannequin-parade of product endorsements—itself a provocatively tedious riff on the high Reagan world of Wall Street and Bonfire of the Vanities—but the edge has already been blunted by the funnier, more disturbing Fight Club.” J. Hoberman, Village Voice

“At its best, the film reflects our own narcissism, and the shallow American culture it was spawned from, with piercing effectiveness. Much of the credit for this can go to director Mary Harron, whose off-kilter tendencies are a good complement to Ellis’ unique style.” Bloody Disgusting

Buy: Amazon.com

Cast and characters:

• Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman
• Reese Witherspoon as Evelyn Williams
• Chloë Sevigny as Jean
• Justin Theroux as Timothy Bryce
• Josh Lucas as Craig McDermott
• Bill Sage as David Van Patten
• Matt Ross as Luis Carruthers
• Jared Leto as Paul Allen
• Samantha Mathis as Courtney Rawlinson
• Willem Dafoe as Detective Donald Kimball
• Cara Seymour as Christie
• Guinevere Turner as Elizabeth
• Krista Sutton as Sabrina
• Reg E. Cathey as Al
• Catherine Black as Vanden
• Anthony Lemke as Marcus Halberstram
• Stephen Bogaert as Harold Carnes

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘Evil awaits’

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End is a 2007 American horror film directed by former actor Joe Lynch (Chillerama) from a screenplay by Turi Meyer and Al Septien (writing credits for both: Leprechaun 2; SleepStalker; Candyman: Day of the Dead).

The film is a sequel to the 2003 film Wrong Turn and the second entry in the Wrong Turn film series.

It was released on DVD on October 9, 2007 and was commercially successful while receiving a generally positive response from critics.

Buy for £6.99 from Amazon.co.uk

Cast:

Erica Leerhsen (Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Haunted Traxx), Henry Rollins (Psychic Murders; Feast; He Never Died), Texas Battle (Final Destination 3; Hydra; Boggy Creek), Kimberly Caldwell (The Ring Two; The Veil), Crystal Lowe (Hood of Horror; The Hills Have Eyes II; The Collector), Steve Braun (Pterodactyl); Matthew Currie Holmes (The Fog; Demon Legacy).

Plot:

Reality show contestant Kimberly is driving through the West Virginia back country searching for the location of her next project. While driving, she accidentally hits a teenager. She stops to check on him, but the teenager is revealed to be Brother, a cannibal, who bites her lips off.

She attempts to escape, but runs into Three Finger, who splits her in half vertically with an axe. He and Brother drag her halves away…

Reviews:

“Yeah, it has its shortcomings, but then again so do the movies that inspired it. Only a horror fan could have delivered a movie this much fun. A movie that knows exactly what it wants to be and revels in it … Wrong Turn 2 is a love letter to the genre that’s been scrawled in gore.” Steve Barton, Dread Central

” … a far more satisfying experience than its pedigree would suggest. While it won’t gain entry into the halls of classic horror, it will make slasher-film fans happy for a couple of hours.” Ian Visser, DVD Verdict

“what could have been a cheap and lazy cash-in turned out to be one of the year’s better genre offerings”. Brian Collins, Bloody Disgusting

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“Joe Lynch just goes for it in this maxed-out mutant sequel, sating the errant appetites of gorehounds everywhere.” Anton Bitel, Film4

“A fast-paced and completely unapologetic love-letter to the old-school ’80s splatter sequels like Friday the 13th Part 2 and Texas Chainsaw 2. (Gory, too!)” Scott Weinberg, FEARnet

Cast and characters:

• Erica Leerhsen as Nina Papas
• Texas Battle as Jake Washington
• Henry Rollins as Colonel Dale Murphy
• Daniella Alonso as Amber Williams
• Steve Braun as Matt “Jonesy” Jones
• Crystal Lowe as Elena
• Matthew Currie Holmes as Michael “M” Epstein
• Aleksa Palladino as Mara Stone
• Wayne Robson as Old Man
• Kimberly Caldwell as Kimberly
• Ken Kirzinger as Pa
• Ashlea Earl as Ma
• Clint Carleton as Brother
• Rorelee Tio as Sister
• Jeff Scrutton as Three Finger
• Cedric De Souza as Neil
• John Stewart as Wojo
• Bro Gilbert as Chris
• Patton Oswalt as Tommy (voice)

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

Angus Scrimm (born Lawrence Rory Guy; August 19, 1926 – January 9, 2016) was an American actor and author, best known for playing the Tall Man in the 1979 horror film Phantasm and its sequels.

Scrimm was born in Kansas City. He was originally a journalist and has written and edited for TV Guide, Cinema Magazine, the Los Angeles Herald Examiner and many other publications. He has also written liner notes for many LPs and CDs for artists ranging from Frank Sinatra to the Beatles.

Scrimm stood approximately 6 feet 4 inches (1.93 m). To appear even taller when playing the Tall Man, he wore suits that were several sizes too small and platform shoes.

Although he had acted in a couple of horror thrillers previously, Sweet Kill (1971) and Scream Bloody Murder (1973), his well-received 1979 Phantasm role led led him to become a horror icon.

Selected filmography:

• Sweet Kill (1973) Henry
• Scream Bloody Murder (1973) Doctor Epstein
• Phantasm (1979) The Tall Man
• Witches’ Brew (1980) Carl Groton
• The Lost Empire (1983) Dr. Sin Do/Lee Chuck
• Phantasm II (1988) The Tall Man
• Transylvania Twist (1989) The Tall Man
• Subspecies (1990) King Vladislas
• Mindwarp (1992) The Seer
• Munchie Strikes Back (1994) Kronas
• Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994) The Tall Man
• Wishmaster (1997) Narrator
• Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998) The Tall Man
• Masters of Horror: Incident On and Off a Mountain Road (2005) Buddy
• Automatons (2006) The Scientist
• Satanic (2006) Dr. Barbary
• I Sell The Dead (2008) Doctor Quint
• Hollywood Horror (2009)
• Satan Hates You (2009) Dr. Michael Gabriel
• John Dies at the End (2012) Father Shellnut
• Phantasm V: Ravager (2016) The Tall Man

Posted in tribute to the late Angus Scrimm who died on January 9, 2016, he died at the age of 89 in Los Angeles.

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘She never leaves you’

Shutter (Thai: ชัตเตอร์ กดติดวิญญาณ) is a 2004 Thai horror film by Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom. The film was remade in 2008 under the same title.

Main cast:

Ananda Everingham, Natthaweeranuch Thongmee, and Achita Sikamana.

Plot:

After celebrating at a drinking party with his close friends, Tun (Ananda Everingham), a photographer, and Jane (Natthaweeranuch Thongmee), get into a car accident. Jane hits a young woman. With much fear, Tun prohibits her from getting out of the car: they drive away, leaving the girl lying on the road.

Tun begins to discover mysterious white shadows and what appear to be faces in his photographs. A suspicious Jane thinks these images may be the ghost of the girl they hit on the road. Tun, who has been experiencing severe neck pains since the accident, visits a specialist and is dismayed to find that his weight is double his regular weight. Unconvinced of the existence of the supernatural, Tun dismisses the idea of being haunted although his friends are also being disturbed by this mysterious girl…

Reviews:

“The use of sound, while a tad irritating in that they cheat (you can startle anyone, during any movie, by suddenly turning up the volume 500% when they least expect it), is nevertheless efficiently done enough to be effective. And the ghost, while looking very generic as can be, offers the audience one minor detour from conventions — she likes to stalk her victims while upside down. Other than that, she’s no different from the 500 other Asian ghosts with long black hair.” Beyond Hollywood

“Still, it delivers all the usual scares (ghost appears in the background, hero spins, she’s gone; an image of the ghost in a photo seemingly comes to life, etc.) so it follows the template closely enough to give the film enough merit (and by merit I mean, the remake is due this year). These movies are a dime a dozen, but if you haven’t seen any of the others this one is no better or worse a place to start.” Horror Movie a Day

“What is unique here is the way they really say alot about the culture and understanding of death from the Asian point of view. It also reaffirms the nature of wrongful deaths and the retribution of scorned spirits. And speaking of scorned spirits….Shutter proves to be one of the most effective in this realm next to “Ju-on”. The appearance and materialism of Natre as a ghost is so well placed at times, it leaves a haunting residue after watching.” HorrorNews.net

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘This dogg’s got a bone to pick’

Bones is a 2001 American supernatural horror film directed by Ernest Dickerson (Demon Knight; Masters of Horror; The Walking Dead) from a screenplay by Adam Simon (Brain Dead; Carnosaur; Salem) and Tim Metcalfe (Fright Night Part 2; The Haunting in Connecticut).

The film bombed at the box office, earning just $8,378,853, so falling way short of its $16 million budget.

Main cast:

Snoop Dogg (Hood of Horror; Scary Movie 5), Pam Grier, Michael T. Weiss, Clifton Powell, Ricky Harris, Bianca Lawson, Khalil Kain, Merwin Mondesir.

Plot:

In 1979, Jimmy Bones (Snoop Dogg) is a numbers runner who is loved in his neighbourhood as its respected member and protector. When he is betrayed and brutally murdered by corrupt white cop Lupovich (Michael T. Weiss) and drug pusher Eddie Mack (Ricky Harris), Bones’ elegant brownstone building becomes his own tomb, and is closed.

The timeline flashes forward to 2001, where the neighborhood has become a black ghetto and Jimmy’s brownstone building is a condemned ruin. Four teens, Patrick (Khalil Kain), his brother Bill (Merwin Mondesir), their white step-sister Tia (Katharine Isabelle) and their best friend Maurice (Sean Amsing), buy the property and they want to renovate it as a nightclub. In the process, Tia finds a black dog who is actually the spiritual manifestation of Jimmy’s tortured spirit. As the dog starts to eat, Jimmy is slowly resurrected…

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Reviews:

“The picture isn’t particularly well-constructed, but Ernest Dickerson’s direction is stylish and the performances are solid, making it very watchable — even though overall, Bones lacks many genuine thrills. Or brains. The weakest part of the film is, unfortunately, the most important: Bones himself. That is, Snoop as Bones. Snoop just isn’t a good actor, even for a rapper.” BlackHorrorMovies.com

” … the people behind Bones wanted to give us something special and I sometimes caught glimpses of those intentions throughout the movie. Yes, the film’s script is far from novel, yes, the film doesn’t always take the right path and yes, the ending goes too far. But the flick still gave me razor atmosphere, wet gore and a hip villain to bite into.” Arrow in the Head

” … the movie’s kill scenes are quick and lack originality. The bodycount is way too low for a slasher film, and Dickerson and crew seems to think throwing gallons and gallons of fake-looking blood at us will help drown out (pun intended) the movie’s obvious lack of entertainment value. And is it me, or did those blood look…pink?” Nix, Beyond Hollywood

Buy: Amazon.com

“The much less interesting visuals in Bones are low-rent-looking long-fingered shadows on the wall, the silly swirling mists, flames that are obviously licking no one, and the jet-black wolf-dog who serves as Bones’ earthly familiar, and whose red eyes make him look like a battery-powered toy.” Cynthia Fuchs, Pop Matters

“Snoop’s character is a complete joke of total silliness, but this was not a bad thing for the most part.  Additionally, most of the cast actually impressed me, especially the younger characters.  The movie is filled with both intentional and unintentional comedy that will keep you in a good enough mood to no complain about the shitty flaws in the second half of the plot.” James Toomey, Awful Horror Movies

Cast and characters:

• Snoop Dogg as Jimmy Bones
• Pam Grier as Pearl
• Michael T. Weiss as Lupovich
• Clifton Powell as Jeremiah Peet
• Ricky Harris as Eddie Mack
• Bianca Lawson as Cynthia
• Khalil Kain as Patrick Peet
• Merwin Mondesir as Bill Peet
• Sean Amsing as Maurice
• Katharine Isabelle as Tia Peet
• Ronald Selmour as Shotgun
• Deezer D as Stank
• Garikayi Mutambirwa as Weaze
• Erin Wright as Snowflake
• Josh Byer as Jason
• Kirby Morrow as Palmer
• Ellen Stephenovna Ewusie as The Death Lady
• Lynda Boyd as Nancy Peet

Filming locations:

Vancouver, Canada

Trailer:

Wikipedia |IMDb

Related: blaxploitation | J.D.’s Revenge

WH

‘Angrier. Deadlier. Sexier.’

American Psycho 2 – aka American Psycho II: All American Girl – is a 2002 black comedy slasher horror film sequel to American Psycho (2000) directed by Morgan J. Freeman from a screenplay by Alex Sanger and Karen Craig. It stars Mila Kunis (Black Swan) and William Shatner (Incubus; The Devil’s Rain; A Christmas Horror Story).

The film was adapted from a script titled The Girl Who Wouldn’t Die, and was originally conceived as a thriller with no association with American Psycho. It was not until production began that the film’s script was altered with the incorporation of the Patrick Bateman subplot.

In 2005, Kunis expressed embarrassment over the film, and spoke out against the idea of a sequel. “Please — somebody stop this,” she said. “Write a petition. When I did the second one, I didn’t know it would be ’American Psycho II.’ It was supposed to be a different project, and it was re-edited, but, ooh … I don’t know. Bad.”

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Plot:

A 12-year-old girl is being looked after a babysitter who is on a date with serial killer Patrick Bateman. After Bateman kills and starts to dissect her babysitter, the girl stabs him with an ice pick.

Fast forward to the present day and the girl, who is named Rachael Newman, is now a college student studying criminology under Professor Starkman, a former FBI agent. Rachael aspires to join the FBI and is determined to get the teaching assistant position under Starkman, which would make her a shoe-in for the FBI training program.

Tough competition for the position stands in her way, and Rachael proceeds to kill off classmates one by one…

Reviews:

“Well, let’s face it; the screenplay, directing and the film’s bravery are not up to par with the original “American Psycho”. But as a stand alone, kitschy, more conventional slasher…it worked. It’s tacky, easy on the eyes/ears and pleasant enough to peek under its skirt to witness the goods.” Arrow in the Head

“Kundis does a good job as Newman, blending sexuality with a sharp performance, although there are often telltale signs of the film’s breakneck 20-day shoot. The ‘Two Years Later’ coda is also ludicrous. But what would be a slasher sequel be without one of those? Despite its critical panning, American Psycho 2 could have been far worse.” Slasherama.com

” … a mixture of dumbed-down irony, groan-inducing black comedy, and gratuitous bloodshed. Like the original film, Psycho 2 treats mass murder as a joke, with society’s indifference as the punchline, but the gag isn’t fresh or funny this time around. Freeman and his screenwriters mistake misogyny and misanthropy for satire and sociological insight…” Nathan Rabin, A.V. Club

Cast and characters:

• Mila Kunis as Rachael Newman, the serial killer, and a student of Professor Starkman’s class, seeking to learn everything she can about serial killers.
• William Shatner as Robert Starkman, a college professor and former FBI agent. He teaches in the Behavioral and Social Sciences department and is Rachael’s professor.
• Kim Schraner as Elizabeth McGuire, Starkman’s assistant
• Geraint Wyn Davies as Eric Daniels, the school psychiatrist
• Michael Kremko as Patrick Bateman, the killer (in the original, Bateman was played by Christian Bale) in this film, the character exists only in Rachael’s memories.
• Robin Dunne as Brian Leads, one of Rachael’s classmates; he is choked to death with a condom by her.
• Kim Poirier as Barbara Brown, a student in Starkman’s class who is hoping for a good grade, only to be set aside due to the professor’s affair with Cassandra Blaire.
• Lindy Booth as Cassandra Blaire, a student in Starkman’s class with whom he is having an affair.
• Charles Officer as Keith Lawson
• Shoshana Sperling as Gertrude Fleck
• Lynne Deragon as Mrs. Newman
• Philip Williams as Mr. Newman
• Kay Hawtrey as Mrs. Daniels

Choice dialogue:

Rachael Newman: “My mother drives me crazy. Now I know that sounds pretty clichéd but how many people actually envision carving into their mother’s neck and yanking out her vocal chords?”

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

Larry Drake (February 21, 1950 – March 17, 2016) was an American actor and was best known to horror fans as the titular Dr. Giggles in the 1992 film of the same title. To the general public, he is best known for his portrayal of developmentally disabled Benny Stulwicz on the TV show L.A. Law from 1987 until the show’s end in 1994.

Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Drake’s fledgling acting career began in 1971 in Herschell Gordon Lewis’ moonshine exploiter, This Stuff’ll Kill Ya playing Bubba, a character name he also played in Frank De Felitta’s well-regarded 1981 TV movie adaptation of his own novel, Dark Night of the Scarecrow, although the role necessitated him wearing a sack over his head.

Another adaptation of a novel, Peter Benchley’s Beast (filmed in 1996 as TV mini-series The Beast) gave Drake the role of Lucas Coven, who kills a giant squid. Unfortunately, there’s an even bigger monster squid lurking in the ocean.

He was particularly memorable as ruthless mobster, Robert Durant in Sam Raimi’s superhero action horror film Darkman (1990) and its first sequel, Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995).

Genre TV series roles included Tales from the Crypt – episodes “And All Through the House” and “The Secret” and as the voice of Moss T. Meister in the What’s New Scooby-Doo? episode “Recipe for Disaster” (2004).

Besides minor parts in dark thrillers such as Paranoia (1998) and Pathology (2008, as the unfortunately named “Fat Bastard”), Drake’s other notable horror role was in Dark Asylum (aka Maniac Trasher, 2001) as The Trasher.

However, for horror aficionados, it will be as Dr. Giggles that Larry Drake – who died on March 17, 2016 – will be most affectionately remembered as.

Adrian J Smith, Horrorpedia

Wikipedia | IMDb

My Name Is Bruce is a 2007 American comedy supernatural horror film, directed, co-produced by and starring cult actor Bruce Campbell. The film was written by Mark Verheiden (The Mask; Timecop).

Plot:

In the mining town of Gold Lick, Oregon, Jeff (Taylor Sharpe), a young fan of B movie actor Bruce Campbell, and his friend Clayton (Logan Martin) go out to a cemetery to meet two girls, Big Debbie (Ariel Badenhop) and Little Debbie (Ali Akay). Jeff removes a medallion off the mausoleum, unleashing the Chinese god of the dead, Guan Di (James Peck), who kills Clayton and both Debbie’s while Jeff flees.

Meanwhile, Bruce Campbell is finishing filming for the fictional Cave Alien II, and is promised a birthday surprise from his agent, Mills Toddner (Ted Raimi). Bruce meets Jeff, who kidnaps Campbell and takes him to Gold Lick in hopes that his hero can save the town from Guan-Di. Upon arrival, Bruce assumes it’s his birthday surprise from Mills, and thinks it’s all a movie, despite a lack of cameras and a script, and agrees to “help”.

Reviews:

“You’d think that all those years hanging out with Sam Raimi would have rubbed off on him, but Campbell doesn’t cut it as a director, turning in a clumsy comedy-horror, packed with gags both racist and creaking, that squeaks through on the force of his personality alone. For Deadheads only.” Tom Ambrose, Empire

“Fans will embrace Bruce for the lovable genre hero he is; others may wonder whether the godawful ghost of Troma hasn’t risen from the grave. Yet ask yourself – would you rather have Jean-Claude Van Damme moaning about how hard it is to be himself in JCVD or Bruce Campbell merrily celebrating his own chainsaw-wielding ridiculousness? No contest!” Mark Kermode, The Guardian

” … irrepressible, cheap-as-chips spoof that is the very thing it’s lampooning: a late night picture show, straight-to-DVD fun-fest with special FX so cheesy they make Bubba Ho-tep‘s look like Weta on Berocca. But, littered with clever in-jokes and daft slapstick, this is honestly the most fun you can have on a Friday night and I just loved it.” Film Reviews by Elaine MacIntryre [“the most fun on a Friday night” C’mon, Elaine? Horrorpedia staff]

“The script, by Mark Verheiden (who wrote Timecop and multiple episodes of the television series Smallville, the revived Battlestar Galactica, and Heroes, among other things), has its moments, but it’s just too dang dumb. I did laugh a few times, but not often, and sometimes I cringed.” D Gary Grady

“My Name is Bruce is a self-deprecating film made by and starring Bruce Campbell, B-movie icon. For what it is, it’s a really funny movie that makes fun of Campbell’s entire career — save for, perhaps, his cameos in the Spider-man films. It borrows plot elements from a lot of movies he was in previously, and it makes more references than it could if it wanted to include anyone not in the know.” Marter, The Escapist

“The script by Verheiden is quirky, fast-paced, and loaded with quotable dialogue mostly given to Campbell because let’s face it, just about every line of dialogue the Mighty Chin speaks these days usually ends up being quoted for the rest of time. There are also a lot of choice quips aimed in the direction of some of Campbell’s more questionable career decisions.” Geeks of Doom

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘More vicious than the myth’

Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula is a 2000 horror-war television film directed by Joe Chappelle (Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Hellraiser: Bloodline; Phantoms) from a screenplay by Thomas Baum.

The film is about Vlad III Dracula, “the Impaler”, the historical figure who gave Bram Stoker‘s Dracula his name. It is also known as Dracula: The Dark Prince and Dark Prince: Legend of Dracula.

Main cast:

(Robocop), Michael Sutton, Roger Daltrey (The Legacy; Vampirella)

Plot:

Vlad is a dispossessed noble, and a patriot who fights the occupation forces of the Turks hoping to avenge the murder of his father by Romanian nobles and the capture of his brother by the Ottoman sultan. The King of Hungary (Roger Daltrey) becomes Vlad’s ally and, with his support, Vlad and his men attack the occupying Turks and turncoat Romanian boyars, and seizes the throne of Wallachia, in the film called simply (and anachronistically) “Romania”…

Reviews:

“For such a familiar story, Dark Prince has all the excitement of something brand new. These characters can easily become caricatures, growling for gore and calling down vengeance from heaven. But the excellent cast and ferocious battle scenes make for one of the best war movies to hit TV in a while.” John Walsh, Maxim

“Dracula: The Dark Prince is a welcome extension of the Dracula brand. Unlike the multitudes of generic rip-offs that come out annually, this low-key effort finally puts a new spin on an old myth.” Ryan Cracknell, Apollo Movie Guide

“It plays hell with the facts and reduces its potentially gripping subject to cheesy soap operatic melodrama. … It’s not awful, but it is awfully ordinary. For the real goods, find McNally and Florescu’s Dracula: Prince of Many Faces: His Life and Times instead.” Mark Bourne, The DVD Journal

“The combination of above-par acting, interesting storyline, and lovely Eastern European scenery make this USA Network production worth watching.” Judy McGuire, TV Guide

“It’s obviously fluffed up but at the same time it’s a bit repetitious, with countless battle scenes that don’t offer much closure. In the end we’re left with the notion that Vlad the Impaler was (and remains) a national hero, not a demon walking among the dead. And that might put a crimp in your enjoyment of the Bram Stoker stories.” Christopher Null,  Filmcritic.com

Choice dialogue:

Vlad Tepes: “The Pope and the sultans stink alike!”

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb

A Little Piece of Heaven is a 2007 single and music video by American metal band Avenged Sevenfold taken from their eponymous fourth studio album, which was produced by themselves.

It is an avant-garde yet melodic song inspired by Broadway show tunes, in which horns and orchestral strings replaced the band’s lead and rhythm guitars.

Video:

Lyrics:

Before the story begins, is it such a sin,
For me to take what’s mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what’s mine, create what God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that something would go wrong,
Before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you

Almost laughed myself to tears,
(Ha hahahahaha)
Conjuring her deepest fears
(Come here you fucking bitch)

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can’t believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it

She was never this good in bed even when she was sleeping
Now she’s just so perfect I’ve never been quite so fucking deep in
It goes on and on and on,
I can keep you looking young and preserved forever,
With a fountain spray on your youth whenever

‘Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that’s why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it’s not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it’s over but it’s just begun
But baby don’t cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime,
We fell apart, let’s make a new start
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, yeah yeah
But baby don’t cry

Now possibilities I’d never considered,
Are occurring the likes of which I’d never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
To repossess a body with which I’d misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can’t believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it

(Eat the shit out of it)
Now that it’s done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I’ve done
‘Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
While you burned in hell, no peace forever

‘Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that’s why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it’s not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it’s over but it’s just begun
But baby don’t cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime,
We fell apart, let’s make a new start
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, yeah yeah
But baby don’t cry

[Maniacal laughter]

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I’ll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I’ll grant you one chance)
And if it’s not enough
(If it’s not enough, If it’s not enough)
If it’s not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again

We’re coming back, coming back
We’ll live forever, live forever
Let’s have wedding, have a wedding
Let’s start the killing, start the killing
(You fucking bitch)

[Maniacal laughter]

“Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?”
“Yes, I do”
“Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life?”
“I do”
“I now pronounce you…”

‘Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that’s why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it’s not your time
But bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it’s over but it’s just begun
But baby don’t cry

You had my heart, at least for the most part
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime,
We fell apart, let’s make a new start, oh,
‘Cause everybody’s gotta die sometime, yeah yeah
But baby don’t cry

Laid to Rest is a 2009 slasher horror film written and directed by special makeup effects artist Robert Green Hall (Teen Wolf [two episodes]; Fear Clinic).

A sequel, ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2, followed in 2011.

Main cast:

Bobbi Sue Luther [who also co-produced; Killer Pad; Night of the Demons], Kevin Gage (Amusement; Fear Clinic), Sean Whalen, Johnathon Schaech, Thomas Dekker, Nick Principe, Richard Lynch, Lena Headey.

Plot:

A young woman with amnesia breaks out of a coffin in a funeral home, and dials 911 in the morgue. The mortician appears, but is impaled by a man equipped with a chrome skull mask, and a shoulder mounted camera. The girl stabs ChromeSkull in the eye, and runs off while he treats his wound. The girl is picked up by Tucker, who takes her home to his wife Cindy, and promises her that they will go to the sheriff’s station in the morning, as Tucker’s truck is low on gas, and their phone service has been cut off…

Buy: Amazon.com

Reviews:

” … ChromeSkull’s kills, proportioned out fairly evenly through the movie’s running time, are suitably bloody and vicious. Music is provided by the likes of Suicidal Tendencies and Deadbox, if that tells you anything about the tone of Laid to Rest. All in all, it’s an aggressive movie. The only drawback is that the movie contrives a lot of convenient coincidences to keep the plot rolling.” Justin Felix, DVD Talk

“If anything will get people talking about Laid to Rest, it’s the gore. The gags that director Robert Hall—an FX guy in his own right—and his talented team of effects gurus concoct are both unique and revolting … There’s a lot more, each successive murder more gruesome than the one that preceded it and they’re all executed brilliantly.” David Johnson, DVD Verdict

“Laid to Rest does have some minor issues with pacing at first but really finds its stride about 30 minutes in and just keeps moving along until the very end. What I like here is that Hall was able to create a slasher film with characters we care about but definitely doesn’t take anything too seriously either, giving horror fans a movie that’s both entertaining and a lot of fun to watch.” The Horror Chick, Dread Central

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

“After some of the most evocative and terrifying open credits of any movie, featuring both topless victims and a butchered torso, there’s no letup in Laid to Rest.” Death by Umbrella! The 100 Weirdest Horror Movie Weapons

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

Cast and characters:

• Bobbi Sue Luther as The Girl/Princess Gemstone
• Kevin Gage as Tucker Smith
• Sean Whalen as Steven
• Johnathon Schaech as Johnny
• Thomas Dekker as Tommy
• Nick Principe as ChromeSkull / Jesse Cromeans
• Jana Kramer as Jamie
• Lucas Till as Young Store Clerk
• Seraphine DeYoung as Bound Girl
• Anthony Fitzgerald as Anthony
• Richard Lynch as Mr. Jones
• Lena Headey as Cindy Smith

Trailer:

Wikipedia | IMDb | Facebook

WH

‘Two no-hopers. One cursed village. One hell of a night!’

Lesbian Vampire Killers – also known as simply Vampire Killers in the US – is a 2009 British comedy horror film directed by Phil Claydon from a screenplay by Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield. It was produced by Steve Clark-Hall. It stars Paul McGann (Alien³; The Monk), James Corden, Mathew Horne and MyAnna Buring.

Momentum pictures has claimed that retailers – including supermarket chain Tesco – demanded warning stickers be placed over the word “Lesbian”. A spokesperson from Tesco said that although they did ask for a cover with less cleavage, they “did not suggest that they [Momentum] amend the wording”

Plot:

Jimmy (Mathew Horne) and Fletch (James Corden) are two friends living in London. Jimmy is dumped by his girlfriend and Fletch is fired from his job as a clown for punching a child. They decide to escape their woes and hike to a remote village in Norfolk that they find via an old map. As they arrive at a pub in the village, they see a number of attractive foreign female history students leaving.

Hoping to find more beautiful women inside, they are greeted by a morose crowd of men and approached by a seemingly crazed vicar (Paul McGann) who believes Jimmy is a long lost descendant of a local vampire slayer…

Reviews:

James Christopher of The Times described Lesbian Vampire Killers as “profoundly awful” stating it is an “instantly forgettable lads’ mag farce” and suggested the film was an “appalling waste of a perfectly decent title”.

” … a movie that is much more interested in ogling women and making schoolboy jokes. Any laughs come courtesy of Corden’s randy, blustering Fletch. Phil Claydon directs at a breakneck pace but maybe he just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. I know exactly how he feels.” Allan Hunter, Daily Express

“The comedy consists mostly in a lot of blokey swearing and Scooby-Doo-style running and gurning, the latter supplied by Paul McGann as an exorcist vicar. It’s pretty woeful, and unimaginably boring.” Anthony Quinn, The Independent

“St. Trinian‘s meets The Descent in the pages of Nuts magazine. It’s mostly pretty awful, but there are one or two crass laughs, largely provided by Paul McGann playing the potty-mouthed priest who is the only one who knows how to slay the Page-3 vampirettes.” Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian

Trailer:

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